Understanding & Loving Your Introvert Partner

While everyone else seem to be socializing, lively and having fun, your precious introvert may just be hanging at the back of the room and watching everyone else unwind. They often appear disinterested or bored but if they’re among friends, odds are, they’re having a great time, just taking it all in and enjoying be present. Introverts are great people watchers and intent listeners. So that’s probably where those serious faces come from. So if something fun comes up, don’t automatically assume your introvert partner’s constant answer to every invite to socializing or having fun is a turn down. They can also be the life of the party. You just have to know and understand how they are. Saturday is for socializing. Sunday is for sleeping. Many introverts start to get cranky and unsteady when they have too much socializing to do for too many days in a row. They need rest. Their time alone has nothing to do loving you any less than you love them. … More Understanding & Loving Your Introvert Partner

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Cruel Things People Say During a Breakup

I know I once said I don’t mind being friends with an ex and maybe I wasn’t thinking with the possibility that the other person might be a psycho. Or maybe not a psycho, maybe just a heartbroken person who’s out to take vengeance on you or deliberately hurt you in return. Really, no matter how seemingly nice someone is, there’s no telling how they can be when a lovely relationship turns soar, or worse, when there’s a breakup. Thinking of it now, I wouldn’t blame some people who would rather keep certain information to themselves till marriage, when they are sure there’s some sort of security eventually. … More Cruel Things People Say During a Breakup

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Is there really a need for relationship counselling?

Unlike Maths and English or other any subject which comes with textbooks and manuals for study and understanding, relationships don’t come with manuals. Be it relationship with children, parents, colleagues, spouses and any other type of interactive relationship we find ourselves in. However, you may find a lot of texts giving their opinion on how to better maintain relationships but really, what works for someone might not work for another. It’s not in the method of execution, it’s the human factor which is very unpredictable. And that is what you need to put into consideration the most – the person whom you are in a relationship with. You need to study them, understand what makes them happy, understand what ticks them off, and understand how they want to be appreciated and all of that. Once you have the understanding of your target in mind, that’s about half of your relationship success story.

If this be the case, is there need for relationship counselling then? If people can just study each other and consciously work towards a great relationship, why do we need to subject ourselves to counselling? … More Is there really a need for relationship counselling?

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Relationship Topics People Don’t Like To Discuss

I called up a friend recently and we got talking. It would be her 10th wedding anniversary soon and I couldn’t help but ask her what’s been the secret to her happy healthy home. She had a lot to say but eventually she narrowed it down to good friendship, trust and God.

Now these elements in themselves are vast and could be a topic of discussion on their own but really what determines whether a relationship will work out or not? Is it how much we first loved each other? Or how well we are able to understand each other? Is it how much we are able to communicate? Or how effective and timely our communications are? Is it how much of the good, bad and ugly we know about each other and we are still able to work out our differences? Or how seemingly perfect we are in each other’s eyes?

I think it’s a little bit of all these elements without which we wouldn’t even have given each other a chance, talk more of having a relationship.

While the list is endless, some of us shy away from facing the salient bits that affects our relationships. You can find some of my reservations in Things I wish I knew before marriage. And it’s not just before marriage really; we grow to know each other every day. Any gap in communication or closeness could be detrimental to the relationship we tried so hard to build. … More Relationship Topics People Don’t Like To Discuss

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Familiar Stranger: Series 4

Many more spontaneous texts came through in the following days which Desire found strange. According to her archive of novels and movies, he could either be a serial lover or a psychopath. Either way, she didn’t want to find out so she ignored many of his messages. Most of the time, she read his messages without replying. He ought to be busy with work and so should she but she didn’t have any ground to hold against him when it comes to work. He really did know his onions and the MD had commended him openly in their meetings over the past few months. She was proud of him at work but she wished he would let it stay that way –that is, just being colleagues.

“Hello”, she answered the phone during lunch break.

“Hi familiar stranger”, he sounded jovial in a flirtatious way.

Desire couldn’t help but chuckle. “Hey”.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Because you called me a familiar stranger. It’s a very unusual name. Sort of intriguing though”. … More Familiar Stranger: Series 4

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Familiar Stranger: Intro

Familiar is defined as something or someone well known from long or close association.

Who is a stranger?

The phenomenon of the “stranger” is the unity of liberation and the fixation of space. A stranger is someone who comes today and stays tomorrow rather than a person who comes today and is gone tomorrow. Get it? Otherwise, they wouldn’t be strangers if you see them only for a day and then no more. Those are acquaintances. It all comes down to distance really. Someone who is close to you is really far way and someone who is far from you is actually close by. Strangers can be close to us to an extent if we share a connection with each other. Our human nature brings us together so to say, it holds similar pattern of activities. … More Familiar Stranger: Intro

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Love Triangle: Who’s the loser really?

I’d like to believe the game of love is for adults. Pardon me for calling it a game but life itself is a race, isn’t it? And racing is a sport, a game. So in this game of love, there ought to be 2 adults – loving me, loving you – only 2. Where you have Titi loving Tayo, and Tayo loving Tolu, who’s going to love Titi?

Someone gave a formula for love triangle:

Love triangle = 1 familiar guy + 1 girl + 1 exciting new guy … More Love Triangle: Who’s the loser really?

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He loved her anyway

I discovered this new blog yesterday and I’m enchanted already. More because it centers on female advocacy that I try to dabble into once in a while. One of the stories I read reminded me of a story a friend recounted to me years ago. Allow me to share with you.

Fadeke is now in her 40s. She’s been married for almost 10years but more than half of that time, her husband has been with this same girl and Fadeke is fully aware of it all – where she works, where she leaves, how her husband sees her every single day of the week and so on. Of course, she’s not fine with it but since her faith is different now, she believes there’s no battle you can’t win on your knees. So she does 21days fasting, dry fast, 40days, and mountain praying till she was diagnosed with peptic ulcer. Has it worked for her? I honestly don’t know. I personally don’t like to be overly interested in the aspect of people’s lives they wish away. … More He loved her anyway

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Don’t try to change me

You know that I love you

You’re my air for I breathe you

So don’t try to change me

Why would you change me?

Baby I will let you go

You know I had my vices

You said you could handle it

But you lied

Cause you tried to change me, mold me

Why?

Everything you loved before

You don’t love no more

Everything I did for you

You don’t want no more

Maybe I’m not quite the girl you been looking for

But you agreed

So how can you not see?

Why must I decide on whether I love you or the world

You met me

You fell deeply in love with me

So what is the problem now?

Everything you loved before

You don’t love no more

Everything I did for you

You don’t want no more

Or maybe I’m not quite the man you been looking for

But you agreed

So how could you not see? … More Don’t try to change me

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