Surrounded by diamonds, set in platinum

‘Happy birthday Kristen’.

‘I think there might be something in the tree’, Mike said.

‘In the tree?’ Kristen moved closer to it. There was a hollow place at eye-level. She put her hand inside and felt a small package, and pulled it out. It was a gift box. ‘What is this?’

‘Open it’, he said.

Kristen opened it and her eyes widened. In the box was a beautiful emerald ring, surrounded by diamonds, set in platinum. … More Surrounded by diamonds, set in platinum

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FAQs before you say ‘I do’

How can I be sure I’m marrying the right person?
Well, I’m not going to sit here and play God and tell you I have the answer to this one but one thing I have learnt with experience is you have to be willing to observe objectively. When we are in love, the tendencies are we cannot make rational decisions because love has blinded our sense of logic and reason. We just want to be licensed to live with that ‘special’ person for the rest of our lives. If you are unable to be objective, trust one or two other people, your parents or siblings or those really close to you. Preferably those who have lived or known you from when you were little so that know what you can live with and what will eventually tear you apart. … More FAQs before you say ‘I do’

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It Boils Down To Two Choices  

There are a lot of marriages out there that aren’t thriving. Yet the bulk of the responsibility to keep it together is on the woman. Who teaches girls or rather who brain-washes girls that their responsibility is to baby their marriage and chase their husbands till they die? When they are babying another adult, who will baby them? Or are women destined to be the sad haggard one in life? Yet when these women reach out for help, the general word is, it’s your cross or lot in life and then you find that they resign to living out their days with a spouse who is flawed and making them anxious and miserable.

I have both female and male friends who like to engage in very meaningful and intimate conversations about love and life. I listen especially closely to my male friends because they offer insights that help me navigate my own relationship with my husband.

Listening to people has made it as simple as it can be. Everything boils down to:

You make your choices and live with them;
You change your mind and make new choices. … More It Boils Down To Two Choices  

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Marriage is not for all – Marriage is not by force

Truth be told, marriage is a big deal. It’s no child’s play. Only those with matured minds should venture into it. And God forbid you immediately start having kids, and then it’ll be easy for the couple to fall apart. They begin to have issues from immaturity to care for a little one, the responsibilities that come with a growing family and running the home. Then two income isn’t enough for the family talk less of one; pressures arising from all sides. Phew! Marriage isn’t always a bed of roses. God help us.

I said it before if you’re looking for a relationship to complete you, you will consistently feel very lacking so let’s also get that cleared. No one can provide you what you lack in yourself and you hope to survive on someone else’s strength. That someone else is not God or a magic genie, or a unicorn with wish-granting abilities. Your spouse is human. If you’re putting unrealistic mythical expectations on your relationship, it might end up more Greek tragedy than romantic comedy. A good relationship should not complete you; it should inspire and challenge you to work on filling in the cracks on a daily basis.
More Marriage is not for all – Marriage is not by force

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