Earning special moments with your wife

Men are streamlined. They are ready to go anytime, anywhere. Women are naturally complex. Men can be compared men to microwaves and women to slow cookers. If you want to warm up that slow cooker, there are certain things you must do.

Let your wife be a woman, and show your appreciation.

You married that woman because you were attracted to her differences, including the fact that she cared enough to ask you questions about yourself and your day. So let her be different. Allow her to be the communications expert she naturally is. Yes, she may be fussy about details and sometimes have bad timing but that fussiness and commitment to improving your relationship make her who she is. It is part of that mystique you fell in love with in the first place. … More Earning special moments with your wife

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I Just Got Married And This is My Story (Part One)

Saturday, the 18th of February, 2017 will forever be etched in my memory. Not because I won the Olympic medal I have always been dreaming about. No, not yet. Neither is it because I bought my dream car – the red mini cooper 2016 edition. Oh well, I know God is working things out for me and very soon my red mini cooper will arrive (giggles). And until then, I patiently await ‘her’ arrival.

But that is not the essence of this story. The gist of this story is about the milestone that I just achieved. Yes, you guessed right. After several years of waiting and praying, I finally got married to the love of my life. And this is a recap of the unending episodes that preceded the d-day. … More I Just Got Married And This is My Story (Part One)

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The role of friendship in marriage

Hi people!

It’s another month. Happy new month. February was the month of love and it felt every inch like love was in the air.

Now for singles who had so much love in February that you want to take your relationship to another level, there are certain things to note before you say ‘I do”. I have various posts on things to note before marriage and the list in not exhaustive actually. As long as you feel uncomfortable about anything, please talk about it.

People often say love makes the world go round. I believe 100% that is true. However in marriage, while love is a good foundation for a union, it’s often not enough in most cases. You need a couple of elements to keep your relationship happily together forever even after the love might not be as strong anymore. One most important element is friendship. … More The role of friendship in marriage

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Really, what’s the significance of a wedding proposal to the marriage itself?

Ahh! Love is in the air. Everything suddenly feels different. Life suddenly has a new meaning and it makes you see things differently. It makes you certain there must have been something there that wasn’t there before. In the words of Mrs. Pots from Beauty and the Beast.

Love is indeed wonderful when you get it right. But how do you tell that you’ve gotten it right? A lot of us don’t have the patience to explore through the stages of a relationship before we are so sure we have found the love of our lives.

Relationships, these days, are formed in different ways, in different places, through different forums. Unlike the days of our parents when there were not so many avenues or determinants to choosing a life partner. These days, a lot of things or people seem to play a huge role in how we envisage a successful marriage.

I mean, what you do call a situation where a lady posts on her Instagram page that her a boyfriend finally proposed to her but she declined his proposal because their wedding hashtag names wouldn’t sound posh? Like seriously? Call me old but what has a “posh” name hashtag got to do with spending the rest of your life, whether happily or otherwise, with a life partner? If you don’t love someone, you will always find a thousand and one reasons to stop a wedding. True love is in the eyes of your partner. It’s in their character and care for you, not in a name hashtag!

Worse still, a lot of people in this generation, place way too much emphasis on their wedding proposal rather than planning and seeking counsel for a successful marriage. Don’t get me wrong, I would love wedding proposal with flowers and roses and sunset on the beach and things but hey, if I get that and what comes thereafter is a life of pain and misery with abuse and violence, does that not just totally take away the beauty of what I thought was once there but now is clearly not there again? Or was it ever truly there before? Hmm.

Set your priorities right. Don’t be fooled by social media and friends who only are interested in making a mockery of your life. If you have it, flowers and all – truly, then grab it. Embrace it – it’s beautiful and breathtaking. But don’t focus on the vanity of shallow love and keeping up appearances and forget what’s really important.

Be guided. … More Really, what’s the significance of a wedding proposal to the marriage itself?

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Project “Marriage” Management

“Coming together is a beginning, keeping together is progress and working together is success” – Henry Ford

If after all the stress of waking up to my 8 to 5 job, I am able to take away learnings that are applicable in more areas than one, then I am grateful I have a job that gives me such exposure.

I was recently at a Project Management training and a lot of things resonated in various ways that just classroom teaching. Basically everything in life is a project if you look at it in the sense of a classroom teaching. However, for the benefit of my blog, I wish to narrow this to the basics of marriage.

Come to think of it, I read on a blog once where the writer said she doesn’t believe in pre-marriage counselling. Well, I suppose that could work if you’ve dated your spouse long enough but then, I would still have opted for a pre-marriage counselling session. It sort of forms the scope of marriage – letting one know what to expect in marriage, what to do, what not to do, how to behave and what not to accept, to persevere, to love, to be forgiving and all those things. I hold those classes in high esteem and still refer to them as often as need be. So imagine a scenario where a naïve couple plunge into this institution, the only institution where you are given a certificate before commencing your first test. Forgive me, but it almost sounds like someone luring you into the deep with a million dollars. In any case, you need to understand the depth and width of your relationship before giving into marriage. Suffice to say at this point that the list of depths and widths is endless but not having one at all could be destabilizing.
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Getting married: Why women get married

Hey people!

It’s been a long holiday in Nigeria, thanks to Ramadan – three days stretch. It would have been two but I suppose the moon didn’t show up early. Don’t ask me, I don’t know how these things are supposed to work. Lol. I’ve had a lot of reading and sleeping in. I wish I had a lot of eating too but my eating pattern is quite unconventional. I’m still working on it.

Anyho, so I was looking through my posts and I came across this one, I figured it would be nice to write something from the female perspective too. Something to balance out the argument, if you will.

So why do women get married?

In my opinion, this topic should be looked at from two dimensions, the young women folk and the older women folk to better appreciate some of the reasons below. However, most of the reasons apply to both folks.

Basically, here are the top reasons why women get married:
1.Because they love that fellow enough to spend the rest of their days with him.
2.Because marriage officially binds you to the one you love, living together forever.
3.Because they are convinced they will find fulfilment and meaning to their lives by becoming a wife and a mother.
4.The society holds the view that women should be protected by men, admitted or not. This is not about prejudice but it’s the truth in most cases.
5.Because of pressure from their parents, demanding grandchildren. Now this applies to the older women folk.
6.Biological clocks are also yelling at women, pressuring them into marriage.
7.For financial security
8.Legitimate sex

Keep in mind too that a lifetime relationship can be a wonderfully intimate and fulfilling experience if done right. It provides support, protection and acceptance, again, for both partners if done well.

For whatever reasons you decided to get married, wish y’all a happy married life.

Cheers!
More Getting married: Why women get married

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