Encouraging Children: Boundaries in Freedom

Raising children would probably be the most tasking responsibility parents have. It’s easy to give instructions to guide them and maybe even spank them when they fail to follow your instructions. Being the example the children need isn’t always as easy as, “You are only allowed 30 minutes on your phone daily”, or “You are allowed on 1 hour with TV on school days”, or “You should be in bed by 8:30 pm on school days”. … More Encouraging Children: Boundaries in Freedom

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Where do I go from here?

Cross roads, decisions, choices – sometimes these are not options for us. Life may be full of choices but at the same time, when life choose to happen, that’s exactly what it does – it just happens and without consent from us. Resilience is the key to survival and our reactions say a lot about who we are. … More Where do I go from here?

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Childhood experiences & Impact on Marriage Relationships

Marriages may be made in heaven. However, so are thunder and lightning. Hiccups should not come as a surprise to any couple. Some issues are so minor and can be resolved within a little time. It’s the more prolonged issues that are a concern.

One does not have to be a psychologist to know that most of individual’s behavioral issues are somehow related to his/her past. As such couples are encouraged to first identify the issues that are the source of their unhappiness. They should then objectively analyze their respective background and see if any of these issues have arisen because of childhood problems. They might find that most of their issues are somehow related to their background. With mutual trust, help and support many of these issues can be resolved by the couples themselves. … More Childhood experiences & Impact on Marriage Relationships

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Raising kids in a perverse generation

A famous Nigeria actress said, “The best gift you can give your child is the Word of God”. God did indeed give you these children for this time. You need to help them discover the secret in the Word of God that will take them to wonderful places, even beyond this world. Daily instruction in God’s Word is key in raising children in this age. The Word is very clear on men and women, marriage, sexual perversion, and right and wrong. There are so many teachings and personal opinions on the internet which can, quite frankly, get your mind twisted if you’re not even grounded in a Truth. If for the only reason that the Bible is a book of morals and ideals, then there is no harm in obeying to the letter, without additions or subtractions. It’s very clear on the hardening of hearts to the truth, and on fools being led astray. Read it with and to your children daily. Memorize passages. Explain how they relate to our practical times. … More Raising kids in a perverse generation

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Fun things to do on a rainy day

It should have been a much deserved and anticipated season in Nigeria – rainy season. Especially for those living on Lagos Island, it’s nothing to be excited about. Rains are well flooding into people’s living rooms and it’s not looking like a good sight at all but trust Nigerians to make the most out of the worst situations. I’ve seen funny videos of flooding being referred to as invite to a pool party or the video of the white man paddling a canoe on what appears to be a street in Victoria Island. Oh well, if we’re going to have a good laugh and make the best of the time, we might as well think up a few fun things to do on a rainy. … More Fun things to do on a rainy day

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Rejection and neglect

Have you ever wondered what the intent behind the question, “Is it a boy or a girl?” is? What difference really is that question fashioned to achieve? The joy of a new born shouldn’t be diminished by the gender of the child. But we find, more often the neglect and rejection of a girl-child normally starts from birth when the news of safe delivery is broken to the family and especially to the father. As soon as the gender status of a child is announced by the medical attendant after the delivery as a girl, some parents receive such supposedly good news with disappointment and dismay. While it is taught over and again that the sex of a girl is determined by the dominance of the male chromosomes, most men still castigate their wives for bearing a girl child. … More Rejection and neglect

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My favorite time with family

There’s just something extremely soothing about waking up to a Saturday morning. Almost like a dejavú of a time when bliss was in the air. As much as I want to sleep in and get out of bed by 9:00am, I am usually forced out of it because I have an unusual breakfast to prepare for my family. Saturday mornings are either for moi-moi, akara or ojojo with custard or pap. The highlight of the breakfast isn’t in the meal itself but how everyone in the family assembles in the kitchen to help get breakfast ready. My daughter would pull her chair just to add some spice or help clean the banana leaves ready for moi-moi. Yes, sue me. I go the traditional way to make my moi-moi. I love it better than way – leaves and all.

So because Mondays to Fridays are already limited time to spend with the family, I look forward to Saturday morning meal time, preparing and sitting at the table to eat while we talk and listen to each other without being in a hurry to be anywhere else.

If my dining table could express itself, it would feel most useful on Saturday mornings and Sunday afternoons. Sunday breakfast almost doesn’t exist because of church but after church, there’s almost always a feast. My husband loves to cook and when he does, we expect nothing simple or plain. We either have seafood fried rice or grilled pork ribs in juicy sticky sauce or I make my plantain and yam porridge with veggies, fish, meat and everything I can find to add. Jollof rice can be on the menu as well with perfectly golden brown plantain. My sister says she prefers to come to my house when my husband is doing the cooking. I guess I can see why, if you like to intercontinental kind of food. I thought I knew how to blend and mix spices but my husband marries them all too well. My son says ‘Daddy is the best chef ever’. Yeah, he likes food like that.

In all, my favorite family time is meal times – Saturday breakfast and Sunday lunch. A good sleep immediately after is my most ideal haven. It’s only after this that I know I’ve had a good weekend.

What’s your favorite time with your family? … More My favorite time with family

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