If you have been abused, it is very likely that you will feel the effects of that abuse in all your future relationships. It could be with your spouse, your friends, your family, and your children. Imagine what it would be like if you could be free from the memories of that abuse – if you could see the world the same as someone who had a normal childhood. Perhaps, there’s still at a chance at a normal life.
Many women who have lived with an abuser find the new “freedom” inhibiting. Such a restrictive view comes from feelings of being lost, out of control, and confused. … More Rebuilding your life after abuse
In front of her mirror, she takes off her huge sun-glasses which she’s used to cover the purple bruise under her right eye. She sighed. She reaches for her cleansing wipes and braces herself as she cleans off the concealer cosmetic she’d used to cover up the red bruise on her arm and legs. She gets into the shower and before she could feel sorry for herself, she’s back in the kitchen making food for her husband who delights in snapping and hitting her at will. He was just generally unappreciative of her. His aim was to bring her permanently under his submission regardless of the fact that he married her a socialite.
She will not leave him because everyone thinks they look good together. She will not leave him because she wants to be understanding and make excuses for him. She will not leave him because he takes care of his responsibilities toward her. For her, it would be futile to leave. Otherwise – “Leave to where?” … More How can a man love another man’s victim?
He picked up a stone from the shores of the lagoon. He weighed in a while before he tossed it angrily out to the water. “Then I must damn the consequences. I’ll do anything for my sister.”
“Do what you have to do. You leave me with no choice”, Don said sternly.
Omololu starred into those hard bloody eyes for a minute or so before he walked away from him. And that was the beginning of the end of us. The battle line is drawn. … More Part 16: The battle line
I met two Americans at the club the other night with Tolani and Funmi. It obviously didn’t go down well with Tolani that Funmi and I chose to leave with the guys. Tolani didn’t have a choice. She had to come with us but she was careful not to sleep at all so that no one would invade her privacy. All of the brief excitement I had with Peter wouldn’t let me be normal again. It was the beginning of something beautiful that Dan wouldn’t indulge. The more alcohol I had, the more I wanted sex, and Funmi knew just where to get it as often and random as the urge demands. By the time I was having this conversation with my brother again, I lost count of how many random men I had been with. It was even more fun that I didn’t need their money and for that reason, they wanted me to stick around more than I wanted to. Tolani didn’t like it. I suspected she told Omololu about it.
“You would do anything?” I asked, raising a brow so mischievously.
“Just name it,” he insisted.
“Quit The Brotherhood.” … More Part 15: Quitters never give up
I couldn’t even remember what the sudden awkwardness between us was about but Dan was obviously still stiff about it. I sat on my bed, letting out a sigh of discomfort as I waited patiently for Dan to speak first.
“You didn’t tell me you were going home for the weekend”, he said.
I thought for a second or two before I said, “Yes, I decided to go home suddenly. I was missing home. Besides, I didn’t realize I owe you every detail of my plans”. … More Part 11: Fighting Temptations
“You joined them already?” I was shocked. I felt like giving him a slap but only if it would make any difference. “You’re neither asking for advice nor regarding me in the matter – speak of doing this for me. You have done what you feel is right. Now, you live with it. When Mom and Dad hear this, if they do, please don’t mention to them that you spoke to me about it because as far as I’m concerned, I didn’t hear a word of all the rubbish you just said. Nothing good is coming from this. I just have a bad feeling about this and by the time it comes crumbling down, please keep me out of your dirty dealings this time. I’ve had enough of you”, I left him that night furious and scared for him. … More Part 3: Vengeance Plot
“Promise me you will stay out of any more trouble. We were only saved by stroke of luck”.
He said nothing and got up to leave instead. I walked with him to the car.
“You don’t have to worry”, he assured me as he opened the door to the car. “I’m fine. I heard you loud and clear. There’s nothing to be agitated about. … More Part 2: The Recovery