My Smiley Face

I put up happy faces and bright smiles

And they are all just pushing you even further away

It’s gotten more difficult too because of the crowd I now find myself

And I don’t know any more how to get to you

Because you are unable to feel me and all the things inside … More My Smiley Face

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Lack of Expression kills Appreciation

Imagine a baby who can’t speak but cries for every want – cold, hot, hungry, sleepy, wants to play, wants to be picked up, fighting sleep and the likes. No matter how much we want to calm a crying baby, it’s usually frustrating after trying many things and the baby is still wailing. That’s how unappreciative lack of expression can be. Hence a sudden reaction or responses thereafter will not be as appreciated as a constructive self-expression. It doesn’t necessarily mean that every thought, even anger, ought to be communication as they are but communication makes effort and situations better understood and appreciated.   … More Lack of Expression kills Appreciation

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Managing Love’s Expectations

The problem with expectations is that they’re just like an opinion. Everyone has one and they don’t always match up to the other person’s thoughts. This is the main cause of conflicts and issues in a relationship.

Fortunately, there is a solution! When our focus is on our differences in expectations, rather than our appreciation for the things the other person does right, conflict is always inevitable. The way any two people decide to show love, for instance, will probably differ but does that make one of the ways wrong? Expectations with no appreciation leads to nagging, which leads to frustration. … More Managing Love’s Expectations

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Women have been told they are their man’s better half. But what does that really mean?

I was watching Laura Ikeji’s dance post on Instagram the other day and my thoughts were not coordinated at first. A woman loves to showcase her children and celebrate her love for them, regardless of the amazing love she had or has for her husband from the beginning of their relationship. So if the woman is celebrating herself and her children, who is celebrating the husband? … More Women have been told they are their man’s better half. But what does that really mean?

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Can someone tell me how to retain relationships? I seem to have lost all of mine.

So, we’ve had our moment of breaking the ice and having that first unbelievable conversation, what next?

In some cases, our views of people from afar are most times contrary to who they really are. You can’t tell a nervous person, for instance, from afar until you’re close enough to something or an activity that brings out that trait in them. In some cases, it’s better to appreciate people from afar and eulogize their seemingly perfect persona that makes you want to be close to them. I say this because once we get to know people, with all their good sides and bad sides, their flaws and weakness, we tend to let those traits form some sort of diminishing returns on our relationship with that person. A friend said to me once that it takes a sincere person to know you for who you are, imperfections and all, and still love you unconditionally. … More Can someone tell me how to retain relationships? I seem to have lost all of mine.

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The role of friendship in marriage

Hi people!

It’s another month. Happy new month. February was the month of love and it felt every inch like love was in the air.

Now for singles who had so much love in February that you want to take your relationship to another level, there are certain things to note before you say ‘I do”. I have various posts on things to note before marriage and the list in not exhaustive actually. As long as you feel uncomfortable about anything, please talk about it.

People often say love makes the world go round. I believe 100% that is true. However in marriage, while love is a good foundation for a union, it’s often not enough in most cases. You need a couple of elements to keep your relationship happily together forever even after the love might not be as strong anymore. One most important element is friendship. … More The role of friendship in marriage

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Dangerous Waters

We were two complete strangers

But soon I was your friend

I quickly learned the waters were full of dangers

And it became a trend

The pattern went on without an end

It breaks me down

If only I were able to turn my back

But you broke my heart and it won’t mend

Because you took a knife to it

And brought tears to these eyes

Out here in the black sea

You can’t hear my cries

I have to admit I’ll miss you

But I know it’s true

In this waters I will drown … More Dangerous Waters

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Healthy topics to discuss in a happy relationship

Have you noticed that great friendship precedes great relationships? The conversations you can have with a friend, for instance, is endless and so is the case when you have your friend as your partner. No matter the odds, you will always find a balance, a balance without tension and stress that’ll always keep you two together.

Conversations can help both of you understand each other better, and help both of you bond better. In every good relationship, there is no need to the conversations you can hold. There is no silly topic or childish talk; it’s all in the bid to getting to know each other and every unfolding is a delight.

Obviously, if you’re in a new relationship, both of you may have so many questions to ask each other. But sometimes we let the fear of sounding rude or getting too personal leave unspoken uncertainties and build a wall between each other which will eventually not go away if you choose not to discuss your concerns or share your reservations. This was stated in my previous post. … More Healthy topics to discuss in a happy relationship

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Relationship Topics People Don’t Like To Discuss

I called up a friend recently and we got talking. It would be her 10th wedding anniversary soon and I couldn’t help but ask her what’s been the secret to her happy healthy home. She had a lot to say but eventually she narrowed it down to good friendship, trust and God.

Now these elements in themselves are vast and could be a topic of discussion on their own but really what determines whether a relationship will work out or not? Is it how much we first loved each other? Or how well we are able to understand each other? Is it how much we are able to communicate? Or how effective and timely our communications are? Is it how much of the good, bad and ugly we know about each other and we are still able to work out our differences? Or how seemingly perfect we are in each other’s eyes?

I think it’s a little bit of all these elements without which we wouldn’t even have given each other a chance, talk more of having a relationship.

While the list is endless, some of us shy away from facing the salient bits that affects our relationships. You can find some of my reservations in Things I wish I knew before marriage. And it’s not just before marriage really; we grow to know each other every day. Any gap in communication or closeness could be detrimental to the relationship we tried so hard to build. … More Relationship Topics People Don’t Like To Discuss

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Familiar Stranger: Intro

Familiar is defined as something or someone well known from long or close association.

Who is a stranger?

The phenomenon of the “stranger” is the unity of liberation and the fixation of space. A stranger is someone who comes today and stays tomorrow rather than a person who comes today and is gone tomorrow. Get it? Otherwise, they wouldn’t be strangers if you see them only for a day and then no more. Those are acquaintances. It all comes down to distance really. Someone who is close to you is really far way and someone who is far from you is actually close by. Strangers can be close to us to an extent if we share a connection with each other. Our human nature brings us together so to say, it holds similar pattern of activities. … More Familiar Stranger: Intro

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