Encouraging Children: Boundaries in Freedom

Raising children would probably be the most tasking responsibility parents have. It’s easy to give instructions to guide them and maybe even spank them when they fail to follow your instructions. Being the example the children need isn’t always as easy as, “You are only allowed 30 minutes on your phone daily”, or “You are allowed on 1 hour with TV on school days”, or “You should be in bed by 8:30 pm on school days”. … More Encouraging Children: Boundaries in Freedom

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Practicing emotional intelligence in your relationship

Every day, our experiences affect our emotions. Sunshine or rain clouds, our favorite song on the radio or an angry email at work – all of these can affect our mood, change the way we feel and influence the way we think. The problems come when we allow those feelings to dictate how we deal with others. Emotions can cause us to react differently in a certain moment than we would normally. If we’re feeling especially happy, we might agree to do something we wouldn’t otherwise. If we’re feeling very down or upset, we might unintentionally take those feelings out on someone else … More Practicing emotional intelligence in your relationship

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Issues affecting women empowerment

This should be an interesting topic to deliberate upon and it is, especially in a world where women now strive to be equal achievers with men. However, as women, we must understand that whatever we consider as issues starts from the mind. There are issues all around us if we choose to see life from that perspective but I know definitely that a better outlook to life and dreams is perhaps to see every obstacle as a challenge. I remember always wishing for more challenging tasks in my jobs and I remember a colleague telling me to be careful what I wish for. In all the busy schedules and activities now, I have learnt a vital lesson – taking ownership of my life. … More Issues affecting women empowerment

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Don’t take yourself too seriously, he said

Lydia likes to plan herself and assess situations before diving in. she likes to think and re-think, analyze and ask questions at least to eliminate the dangers ahead. She knows she cannot guarantee all will be well but she wants to be sure she has done her homework and minimized every possible downturn. Is that a wise practice?

Man proposes but God disposes. Lydia knows she can plan all she wants but it doesn’t eliminate the unexpected sudden blessings that will come her way or avert the unanticipated failures that she will experience. It’s all part of the beauty of life. Yes – beauty. If we were to know everything, then we wouldn’t have to try anymore. We wouldn’t have to learn. We wouldn’t have to even serve God because then we would be Gods ourselves.

These things cloud her thoughts. Confusion and frustration sets in when things aren’t going her way. Lydia’s wish is to be the perfect servant to God, daughter to my parents, wife to one husband, and mother to her children. It is possible, isn’t it? But then he says to Lydia, don’t take yourself too seriously. Even Lydia wishes she doesn’t overthink everything all the time.

What would be your advice to Lydia and everyone in like regard?
More Don’t take yourself too seriously, he said

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Let’s talk about sex

Oooooh! Sex – so controversial yet so exciting to talk about. It’s not supposed to be mentioned amongst decent people, or that’s what the society thinks. These things (about sex) aren’t to be mentioned in public or maybe at all. Yeah, right. So if we don’t talk about it, how do you want to get educated, aware or even educate your child? It’s become very necessary now with the way the society is going. There have been too many vile perpetrations recorded in the past five years and mostly against children. So, there’s the need to talk about this – let’s talk about sex then, shall we?

We can talk about sex in the context of gender or in the more controversial context which is intercourse. Intercourse would be a better debatable topic to discuss. What does the Bible say about sex? There are a lot of verses on this but let’s simplify it by using 1 Corinthians 7:2 – But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. In one word, sex outside of husband and wife is immoral, a sin against your own body and against God. Unfortunately, the Bible has no further consenting record about man and man or woman and woman or adult and child or human and animals which is now the trend.

I know, I know. We all fall short of the sex before the marriage thing but that’s another topic I wish not to discuss because I do not have a justification for it. But in any case, as much as it can be a blessing, intercourse is also a curse as seen in Genesis 2:24 – Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. One flesh, one body, one soul. A few years ago, my father told me that for everyone a person shares their body with, they become one soul with that person. How many souls have you conjoined yourself to? One, two, 10, 20? How many of those souls are disturbed or distressed or unfortunate and wretched? How many of those have affected your God-given destiny, limiting you to the treasures of God for you on earth? Scary thought! But the good news about sex is that it is within marriage is pleasurable because God designed it that way. God wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity within the confines of marriage.

Like I said earlier, most of us fall short in indulging in sex before the marriage, perhaps for a different number of reasons but the most popular one is for benefits. You want this person to like you more, you want him/her to choose you above others, you want what he/she has, etc. Mind you, sex does not determine or guarantee a respected relationship with anyone. If anything, it takes away from your personality in such an instance.

Now be mindful that children need age-appropriate information about their bodies, puberty, sex and reproduction. This doesn’t have to be one big talk, but lots of little conversations repeated. It is important to understand the stages of sexual development your child is likely to go through at different ages and what you can do to help them adjust to the changes they will experience. Sex education for a primary school child should occur in the way we talk about body parts and body functions, how we teach children to care for, respect and protect their bodies, and while we prepare our children for puberty. Choosing the right age to answer questions such as ‘Where do I come from?’ and ‘What is sex?’ is more about how comfortable your family feels talking about such topics, rather than there being a perfect time. I advocate as soon as you feel compelled to have such conversations with them, minding their age and their understanding of your communication language. Other factors to keep in mind as well might be when your child begins to feel more modest, say by age six and might want privacy in the bathroom. This is a good chance to help them understand their feelings and make sure they are aware of the things to be cautious about or raise alarm about. There are no hard and fast rules to sex education in children, just tap into the timing that best works for you and your child and like I said, feed them age-appropriate information.

I’d like to hear your view about sex. Let’s keep talking.
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Qualifying my knowledge under written scrutiny

The thought of writing exams has always been a nervous exercise for me and most people, I dare to say. For instance, the popular JAMB (Joint Admission and Matriculation Board) examinations has an infamous high record of failed candidates as opposed to candidates who have smiled out of the examination hall or have actually, on … More Qualifying my knowledge under written scrutiny

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