And the LORD replied, “If I find fifty righteous people in Sodom, I will spare the entire city for their sake.” Finally, Abraham said, “Lord, please don’t be angry with me if I speak one more time. Suppose only ten are found there?” And the LORD replied, “Then I will not destroy it for the sake of the ten.” … More Pray for Nigeria
Nigeria, under Change dispensation, has been experiencing a lot of “changes” which aren’t favorable to the people but some of us choose to stand by our decision. Believing that the change we want though might not be easy but we trust that the government is on the right track to getting us back where we need to be. Having said that, while my salary hasn’t increased and thousands of people are still losing their jobs across organizations, how does the government expect us to keep up with the news delivered by the Minister of petroleum. On the 11th of May, Mr. Ibe Kachikwu announced the deregulation of the downstream sector of the petroleum industry, effectively ending fuel subsidy which leaves us now with a new price for petrol at N145 per litre. That’s over 65% increase. Chai!
Not that we haven’t suffered the adverse effects leading to this eventual situation but if we must suffer any further, shouldn’t there be an alignment with the masses? Shouldn’t there be a consideration for the masses out of jobs? Or the civil servants whose minimum wage can’t afford a bag of rice or put into consideration the new price of the now overrated tomato? (Breathing out)
The Nigeria Labour Congress has now insisted on a nationwide indefinite strike which commenced today based on a deadlock meeting with the Federal Government of Nigeria. Whether I’m staying at home indefinitely or not, it doesn’t alleviate the sufferings we are facing in Nigeria or take away the fact that I have been suffering to get fuel at even more outrageous prices than N145 in the past 6 months. Neither does it imply that my salary will be increased by my organization to suit the increased fuel price or the overrated tomato price. So biko, both NLC and Federal Government, is anyone exactly fighting for the benefit of the people? Where was NLC when people were risking their lives and suffering to buy fuel in the tanks of their generators, risking lives and properties? I just want to plead the cause of the masses so that both NLC and Federal Government arise to their responsibilities, align with Nigerians and let us understand what is happening so we can all buy into the idea of change that you sold so beautifully to us. Because if the government isn’t going to help me alleviate my issues and NLC is not exactly being considerate, how do we achieve zero corruption in our country?
Just my thoughts.
… More Aren’t we encouraging corruption in an anti-corrupt dispensation?
Have you seen the movie, “Confessions of a marriage counselor” or more recently “War room”? It’s good to watch the movies with your partner, they say. Why though? I haven’t come to the conclusion yet.
Have you noticed that there’s not one day, on social media, when you don’t find a horror story about domestic violence these days? So the question on everyone’s lips is, ‘has this always been the case or is it social media bringing these issues to limelight?’ Either way, the level of carelessness and giving to domestic violence is amazing, scary and horrifying. I thought marriage is about finding the bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh – an agreement and consent between two adults to love and care for each other for the rest of their lives. My people say, ti iku ile o ba p’ani, t’ode o le p’ani. Meaning if the death within won’t kill you, none outside can. It’s in Yoruba language. I recall reading from the book of Psalms about eating and dinning with the enemy. The closest ones to us are the ones who hold the power to harm us the most, if we choose to ignore the signs. However, it has become disheartening when it is that special person who vowed to love and care for you, to protect and provide for you who turns out to become your worst nightmare. Worst still, the cause of your death. My bible tells me that there is one life, after which comes judgment. It’s just one life. Flee from all appearances of domestic violence. Can I shout this out loud? FLEE FROM ALL APPEARANCES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE! How do we build a great nation when the foundations are now being shaken?
So what is domestic violence anyway? It is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, and emotional abuse. The frequency and severity of domestic violence can vary dramatically; however, the one constant component of domestic violence is one partner’s consistent efforts to maintain power and control over the other. It is important to note that domestic violence does not always manifest as physical abuse. Emotional and psychological abuse can often be just as extreme as physical violence. Lack of physical violence does not mean the abuser is any less dangerous to the victim, nor does it mean the victim is any less trapped by the abuse.
I also advocate that you need to understand the peculiarity of your marriage. Watching War Room might not fix the problem. You need to accept that. The plot of your life and that story is different, ok? And you need to understand that the essence of watching the Confessions of a Marriage Counselor is not to boost a lazy man’s ego. It will not take away what is wrong with your marriage either. And just because it didn’t happen to your mother and her mother, doesn’t necessarily mean it won’t happen for you or vice versa (however applicable that is for your situation). And that’s the most important thing, knowing and appreciating the peculiarity of your marriage and situation.
So the churches tell you to keep praying and be patient when you ask for help. The society says it’s the norm. Your parents tell you it’s what they’ve also had to face. Your children need both their parents anyway. Your partner needs you to keep feeding his ego too and you? What do you need? You will constantly be pulled in all different directions until you summon courage to do what you need to do for you. Only the living can worry about what other people think, remember? Life will always go on, it doesn’t start neither will it end with you. You need to take care of you.
And of course, there are the additional barriers to escaping a violent relationship.
•The fear that the abuser’s actions will become more violent, and may become lethal if the victim attempts to leave
•Unsupportive friends and family
•Knowledge of the difficulties of single parenting and reduced financial circumstances
•The victim feeling that the relationship is a mix of good times, love, and hope along with the manipulation, intimidation and fear
•The victim’s lack of knowledge of or access to safety and support
•Fear of losing custody of any children if they leave or divorce their abuser or fear that the abuser will hurt, or even kill, their children
•Lack of the means to support themselves and/or their children financially or lack of access to cash, bank accounts, or assets
•Lack of having somewhere to go (i.e., no friends or family to help, no money for hotel, shelter programs are full or limited by length of stay)
•Religious or cultural beliefs and practices may not support divorce or may dictate outdated gender roles and keep the victim trapped in the relationship
•Belief that two parent households are better for children, despite abuse
All I can say is, after all that is said and done, your peace of mind and sanity with hard work is always the key to a fulfilled life. It’s not tenacity in concealing what’s not working. At the end of the day, you can’t even fulfill destiny in any unfavorable circumstances.
So, do you want to be useful for yourself and the society really or be wretched or even worse dead because you tried to keep up appearances and save face?
It’s not even a joke anymore. If we need to make a difference in the world, we need to be alive to do it.
… More Dealing with Domestic Violence
“Every day my people dey inside bus
Forty-nine sitting, ninety-nine standing
Them go pack themselves in like sardine
Them dey faint, them dey wake like cock
Them go reach house, water no dey
Them go reach bed, power no dey
Them go reach road, go-slow go come
Them go reach road, police go slap
Them go reach road, army go whip
Them go look pocket, money no dey
Them go reach work, query ready
Every day na the same thing”
Shuffering and Shmiling is an album composed, bandleader, and multi-instrumentalist Fela Kuti recorded in 1977. Pardon my emphasis but the year is now 2016. Noticed much difference yet?
I was on the road a few days ago going someplace Google Maps calculated to me was to take 58mins. Thank God I like to be early and ready when I have appointments so I set out 2hrs prior to my appointment time. I was lucky to be there about 2mins after my scheduled time, meaning I used 2hrs 2mins on a trip that would have usually taken 30mins on a day like Sunday morning.
What I saw on the roads were devastating – long queues at filling stations, generators coming off and on Okadas or Keke Napep at filling stations, rowdy roads, Police and Army officers trying to keep people and traffic under control (suffice it to mention I didn’t notice any FRSC ((Federal Road Safety Corp)) official on the roads at all). Simply put, it was pathetic. I ended up spending 7hrs on the road on a trip within Lagos metropolis. And I couldn’t help but wonder, what would Fela say about this?
55years of Independence! Nigeria!
… More Suffering and Smiling!
Hi people, Hope everyone is doing well today. I have something on my mind this morning which I need someone to prove me wrong if perhaps I am being misled. When we were handing over a Nigeria in crisis, I don’t believe we had a crisis situation in Lagos which needed distortion. We simply voted … More Lagos, how now?
As Nigerians grapple with the worst energy crisis ever to befall the nation, there is very little doubt that the subsidy regime that has been fostered on the nation by the labour movements and some sections of the media can no longer be sustained. Africa’s largest economy and oil producer has frittered away obscene amounts … More May 29: Handing Over Nigeria in Crisis