Dating a Fiercely Independent Woman

She won’t settle for being carried on someone’s back, if she can crawl or use her teeth to get to the finish line. She sounds scary, but she’s just a regular girl who wants to actively participate in her journey to become an independent woman.

This is somewhat a part two to my last article on A window into the life of an independent woman. Apparently, a lot of people could relate or got better understanding by it which is what this blog aims to achieve – enlightenment in appreciating one another.

Even though the independent woman is more comfortable to do her thing s herself, that doesn’t mean that she’s not open to being in a committed relationship. She just wants someone who will give her space, while she does her thing and still be there for her whenever she feels vulnerable. This woman will love you fiercely with all her heart, but she will never let you walk all over it.

So if you’ve come across a fiercely independent woman and would otherwise have loved to date her, don’t write her off so soon, here are some the things you need to know or do when dating a fiercely independent woman.    

Once you manage to win an independent woman’s affection, you should never let your guard down. She will watch you like a hawk and scrutinize your ability to handle the relationship. She wants to succeed in being a good girlfriend, but it’s your job to be the best boyfriend for her as well. Here’s how you do that:

1 Take her seriously. This type of woman always wants to be taken seriously when if she speaks so unassumingly. She has invested her whole life into making people acknowledge her ability to perform excellently whether it’s at home, at work or even in school. Once you undermine her or doubt her abilities, she will take it as an insult.

2 Take note of her beliefs and principles. As an independent person, it’s understandable that she has developed certain ideas and beliefs that she has adhered to. You don’t have to bow down to her whims, but you should always acknowledge that she sees things differently or that she is used to a certain way of doing things. If you want her to understand your own beliefs and principles, explain it to her. Don’t just assume that she will go along with how you approach things in life.

3 Ask her about what she wants. Before you can establish a relationship with someone as independent as this woman, you have to ask her about her needs and wants. By acknowledging these things, you will know how to handle your relationship based on what she has planned for herself.

4 Ask her about what you both want. Don’t forget that you are a part of this relationship too. Just because she wants certain things, does not mean that you want the same things. The best thing you can do is talk about your plans and goals so that you can arrive at a compromise. This way, you can also find out whether you are both willing to give each other some leeway in the relationship.

5 Let her in on the decision making. Whether it’s picking a restaurant or purchasing an item, do not base your decision on whether you think she will like it. Even if she does, she will not appreciate you making the decision for her. As endearing as it sounds to hear that you know her so well, there is a slight chance that she might not agree. If that happens, you can expect her to be very unhappy about it.

7 Never play the boyfriend card. When worse comes to worst, you might be tempted to use the boyfriend card. You might hear yourself saying, “You’re my girlfriend. You’re supposed to be submissive or trust that I know what’s best, bla bla bla …” I agree that when a person agrees to be in a relationship, there are some expectations that need to be met. However, you don’t have to state the obvious. It’s a major turn off.

8 Be just as independent. If you are in love with a fiercely independent woman, you should not complement her by being overly dependent. Her independence requires you to give her space sometimes. When that happens, you are not obligated to wait for her until she has had enough time for herself. You should do your own thing and not worry about whether or not she’s going to call you later. She will probably admire you for not needing to be coddled all the time.

9 Let her pay for what she wants to pay for. Don’t get me wrong, Nigerian women want you to shower all the money but an independent woman wants to be able to pay or buy things for herself and even you without so much questions or feeling that she has to ask you or take your money all the time. Offering to do so would be the polite way to go, but you can’t insist on it when she declines.

10 Do not bargain for her time. If you want to spend time with your partner, don’t pay for it with gifts or a promise of a favor. Your partner will think that you’re bribing her, and she’ll take it as a slight against her intelligence. If you want to spend time with her, ask her for it. If you think that she is being unfair to you, tell her how you feel. If she doesn’t care, then maybe your time is better spent with someone else who does.

Even the most independent woman wishes she had a good man to depend on.


4 thoughts on “Dating a Fiercely Independent Woman

  1. Good call. People tend to shy away from independent women because they are “high maintenance”, and think she doesn’t want a healthy relationship because she’s perceived to not want one. Independent women need love too, it just takes a bit more work. Nothing worth having comes easy.

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