And He Persisted

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What makes a woman give ear to a guy proposing relationship? You’d be amazed at some of the things that gets the ladies’ attention. Some ladies look at the shoes, some look at the guy’s wristwatch, some look at the hands. More matured ladies kind of sizes the guy up after the first few conversations, some are attracted to security, wealth, intelligence or so on. Some ladies will even bear it all and make up their minds after the first “deed”. If the deed is not good enough, you can say bye-bye after that. Whatever attracts a lady, she ought to know it; except she’s confused and doesn’t even know what she wants but that is another topic for another day. Whatever attracts a lady and she knows what she wants and she says “NO” to the guy, what makes her change her mind and goes ahead to date the guy?

I’ve heard such things as, “I told him I couldn’t but he persisted”, “I told him I have a boyfriend but when he persisted, I found myself liking him”, “He wouldn’t just go away after several attempts to get rid of him”. So a guy asked me the question, “Is it every guy who comes the ladies’ way and persisted that they have to give a try?”

Let’s face it. A lot of confident men will persist so ladies, when or how do you draw the line and stand by your “NO”?

One of the biggest complaints from women is there are a lot of men out there who just won’t take No for an answer.

Saying “No” and disentangling yourself from unwanted male attention is a crucial skill to long term success in dating and relationships. Moreover, these skills, once learned, can be applied in most areas of your life to great success.

When you understand how to say No and mean it, you’ll be more likely to take a safe chance because you’ll be able to get rid of the person if it doesn’t work out. You’ll also be more comfortable moving in and out of relationships, and you won’t waste a lot of time on the wrong men. On the other hand, if you don’t ever learn to say no and mean it, you’ll be less likely to take a chance with every random person because you’ll be too afraid of getting attention that you don’t want. You’ll also waste a lot of time disentangling yourself from unwanted relationships which can be a drain on your time and energy and may also prevent you from meeting men whose attention you actually want.

When men play their game of persistence, they know you’re uncomfortable. So they’re pushing all of the buttons at their disposal to get what they want – your time, your attention, your money, and most importantly, your respect. You tell them you’re not interested – preferably in a way that doesn’t make them wrong so that you don’t inadvertently trip the “respect mechanism.” You give them one reason – one that is spoken from the heart and with absolute certainty – and then you’re done.

You don’t owe them more than that.

If you’re feeling bad it’s because they’re not playing by the rules. Normally the rules mean accepting your answer and moving on. Instead, they’re playing to win, which means plying you with endless questions or demands will compel you to answer.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t answer questions, but when they’re being put to you in such a way to make you feel bad or do something that you don’t want to do, game over.

Say No.

Give a reason.

And let it go.



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