One woman complains. Another woman is bitter. One woman is dying under too much pressure. Another woman has ceased to even exist. And it’s all because of the ill that has found its’ way into the family.
The “Proverbs 31 Woman” supported and teaches women to support their husbands. Support, you can define in various ways but the ideal by definition of the Proverbs 31 woman is supporting financially, emotionally, materially and even in wisdom, knowledge and understanding. But men, these days, only recognize and appreciate the woman who supports financially; all other means of support is not recognized. Most women wouldn’t mind to support but with the increasing laxity in men, how and when do you draw the line between being a supportive woman and being an enabler?
Some stories I’ve heard this week has shocked me to my very bone and the truth is, no one is really addressing these issues head on – practically. The African society makes it impossible to speak out as a woman and expect to get helpful responses to deal with these issues with useful advice. The Church makes it even worse for these things to be mentioned amongst us. But have we stopped to realize that in reality, most of us are not as spiritual as we want the society to believe we are? And men take advantage of this, knowing the society can only encourage or lead the woman on to keep hoping, be prayerful and patient. Are we actually looking at the situation from the perspective that we are only encouraging the men to be lazier and less responsible for their actions? Who is going to address the men to get off their butts and be real men?
A woman said her husband’s business suffered loss for years and she had to bare all responsibilities for the family – everything. She was even giving her husband some pocket money for upkeep. She was being supportive. Until she found out, through her husband’s friend, that he was actually saving for a house he built for his girlfriend and a new car for her.
Another woman said she paid school fees for the children for years in the name of being understanding until her husband built another house in the name of strange woman, moved out of their home to marry the other woman.
A woman is bitter about taking full responsibility for a home just because her man can’t be there for the family. Yet he would rather be chasing the little house girl up and down the house.
When people preach, we prefer to make references to women who leave their husbands for this or that frivolous reasons. Why are we not addressing some salient issues that make good women turn bad if we really want to change these generation of women? Because the truth is, pressure leads to so many things that can’t make a woman be the woman in the house. She’s been the man for so long anyway.
For the first time, I heard someone mention a few things why a man would rather be lazy than be responsible for his family and I wondered, what is the percentage of women who are bold to damn the consequences and treat their husbands’ irresponsibility as they ought to?
Woman, no one can love you better or more than you love yourself. To love yourself is to refuse to be used. You deserve to be appreciated and celebrated for the work, effort and value you bring to the table. If you’re not getting that, you definitely need to take the bull by the horn, not to damn the consequences but to lay it all out there and see if it was even worth it in the first place.