How are you dealing with your wife’s evolution?

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Relationships are very interesting, intriguing yet peculiar. We enter into them for one reason and may be keep them for another. Giving room for improvement, changes, evolution as we get along with each other in marriages, especially, is very important. This is perhaps the reason why a man will rant about his wife’s change of stature or dress sense after childbirth, not knowing that all body types are not the same and not all women want to face the struggle of keeping the status quo, as it were. Opening to possibilities in your marriage will better help you tolerate whatever comes your way while you sensibly help each other get through the challenging situation.

Someone said women change, hypothetically, every five years. Now the way a 25 year old lady will think and reason is different from what the priorities of a 30 year old woman are, which differs from what a 35 year old’s point of views and perspectives are about life and so on. If you find a married 25 year old lady and perhaps even working, she just feels blessed to be married and working and that sort of gives her satisfaction. She rolls with the routine by the day and everything is dandy. By the time she’s 30 years old and still has access to exposure, she’s probably thinking of more fulfilling things to do with her life now. It’s not about time because quite frankly, she might not have all the time in the world with work to do and a home to run, but she is confident to juggle a lot more to fill a vacuum that’s suddenly grown in her. Now, as the husband, when your wife talks to you about these new things she wants to do and you’re not understanding that evolution can take place in your wife too, you begin to wonder, ‘Who’s this new woman? This is not the woman I married. Is she rolling with some new set of women influencing her to break free from me?’ and all of those questions.

To a large extent, a man wants his wife to remain as he married her. If she was working at the time, that’s fine as long as it is within the limit of what she was when he married her. He expects her to remain tall, slim, flat belly, and all those other stuff too. If not, accepting the new woman she’s becoming usually becomes a struggle for most men. Accepting it becomes even tougher and if this evolution breaking points are not well managed, it can become a major cause of conflict in marriage.

Even at 5o years old, a woman with exposure, experience, talent and energy is still evolving into the best version of herself and I think it is best that this is embraced and encouraged in a marriage to give room for growth, expansion of income and peace in the marriage.

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