Marriage can be a blessing and a curse depending on how you choose to deal with it. Well, a lot of things in life may as well fall into the category of blessings and curses. Even life itself can be what you want it to be. But it’s not always as easy as a decision you can make without huge sacrifices or compromises, discipline and tolerance. At one point or the other, we’ve all had to make decisions we’ve either appreciated in the long run or regret in the long run.
We often make mistakes, especially when we’re young in love. We see everything as simple as a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ but we don’t want to face the also ‘complicated’ part. As long as we’re in a situation where we don’t have total control of the other person or situations around us, things can get complicated. Our decisions and reactions thereafter determine how really ready or mature we are in handling these situations.
I was following a story on social media a while back. It was a sorry case with this less than a day old married couple. When they started dating, it was a case of no intimacy until marriage – the woman insisted and the man willingly accepted. On the night of the wedding when all he wanted to do was unwrap his lovely lady, he discovered something rather unforgivable. His wife had another man’s entire body tattooed on hers’. Like literally his whole body and the penis was almost in her ‘vijayjay’. It was too much for him to even understand. She tried to excuse herself but eventually, it turned out that it was the image of her ex who at some point she thought she had to tattoo on her body just to prove her loyalty to him. Eventually, they didn’t end up together. The unveiling of the wedding night never took place and her husband was ready to give it all up. It wasn’t worth it, he concluded. It was too big a reminder for every time he would look at her.
I heard another filmy sad story today. A couple who’s been married for just about two years are suddenly convinced there is no remedy to the damage at hand. Apparently, the husband had been warned severally to refrain from having so many affairs and drinking endlessly because he might eventually not be able to satisfy his wife when she needs him. His nightmare came to pass when he received a video on his phone. It would appear a porn video until he watched and realized that the lady in the video is his very own wife with her ex. He was furious and would have done anything at that moment until he accepted out of shame and heartbreak that he might have caused it in some way and he needed to be careful in making a decision. But the cat was let out of the bag when his wife, two weeks later, tried to seduce him into intimate moment. He showed her the video and she fled. She hasn’t been seen since.
When we envy the older generations celebrating 50 years wedding anniversary or 60 years wedding anniversary, looking happy together like they’ve always been the best of friends, even they will admit that marriage isn’t always a bed of roses. But the choices we make at every difficult turn either make us or break us. There’s no wrong or right answers or decisions and even when the pros and cons of the situation seem bleak, we might realize eventually that if we had let a few more airs into the matter, we could have made better informed decisions and not one in the heat of a moment that can jeopardize something we could have otherwise built to what we would be proud of.
Like I said, there is no wrong or right when it comes to matters of the heart. Let your heart or head guide you and be ready to face the consequences – no regrets.
So what’s your limit in marriage?