Understanding & Loving Your Introvert Partner


While everyone else seem to be socializing, lively and having fun, your precious introvert may just be hanging at the back of the room and watching everyone else unwind. They often appear disinterested or bored but if they’re among friends, odds are, they’re having a great time, just taking it all in and enjoying be present. Introverts are great people watchers and intent listeners. So that’s probably where those serious faces come from. So if something fun comes up, don’t automatically assume your introvert partner’s constant answer to every invite to socializing or having fun is a turn down. They can also be the life of the party. You just have to know and understand how they are. Saturday is for socializing. Sunday is for sleeping. Many introverts start to get cranky and unsteady when they have too much socializing to do for too many days in a row. They need rest. Their time alone has nothing to do loving you any less than you love them.

Like all things, the true key to understanding your introvert partner is tons of communication. But not too much. At least, not without some breaks.

Having had a background understanding of what introverts are and what they are not, as a partner to one, here’s a few tips on making your introvert partner engaged in your relationship. Otherwise, making him or her happy.

Don’t over-schedule yourselves

Don’t plan a full weekend of activities, you’ll only be creating a nightmare for your significant other. This kind of rush will deplete an introvert’s energy levels and leave them feeling scattered, overstimulated, and ultimately dissatisfied. If you must plan every moment of your weekend, make sure to balance your social activities with some quiet activities indoors too. Your partner needs this, and so does your relationship.

Avoid system overload

Your introvert partner needs time to process information and needs space to recharge. If feel uncomfortable in a situation that makes them feel less of expressing themselves, they often burst out as a pile of scattered pieces. Therefore, to appreciate the beauty of their person, you need to give them room to be themselves and avoid overloading them with too much at any particular time.

Have a code word and respect it

An introvert has limited social energy, and will likely want to leave an event long before their partner does. Before going out, plan a code word and a believable excuse to leave the situation. At the end of the day, you don’t want to have a fun time out only to come home to a disoriented partner.

Do more of letters and e-mails

Extroverts often give preference to face-to-face communication but this is not always true for an introvert. Many introverts are able to express their feelings more accurately and completely through writing than they could verbally. If you are struggling to understand your introverted partner’s emotions and opinions, give them the option of writing their feelings out rather than saying them aloud. You might be surprised at the depth you discover.

Be specific

It’s often unlikely for introverts to dump information in the same way that extroverts do. This can leave their partner feeling disconnected from the realities of their daily life. Open-ended questions, such as “How was your day?” or “How do you feel?” do not work well for introverts. They will most likely respond to these with a short answer that will not provide you much in the way of insight. Instead, ask your partner something specific. “What surprised you today?” or “What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing at work?” will bring you a better sense of insight into your partner’s world.

Make plans via texting as opposed to phone calls

I’ve heard someone say when you ask someone a question and they hesitate before they answer, it often means they are thinking up a lie. This isn’t true for an introvert. By penning your conversations more, it gives your introvert partner more time to process their thoughts and formulate a response. Otherwise, they are more likely to re-think a more suitable response under the same circumstance.

Embrace the silence

Your introvert needs quiet time to recharge. If you want to spend more time with them, embrace the concept of being together without having to speak. Read a book, listen to music on your headphones, or work on a project. The act of sharing in this quiet space will bring you and your partner much closer together.

Everyone needs love and care in different forms. Some need more attention than others. Understanding personalities help to resolve 90% of avoidable issues in relationships. Treasure your introvert, and care for them attentively. Introverts love deeply and completely if allowed to bloom.

One thought on “Understanding & Loving Your Introvert Partner

  1. Everything that you said is completely accurate because I am an introvert. Introverts like myself don’t like being around people for too long, not even family.
    “Make plans via texting as opposed to phone calls” this is very accurate. I hate talking on the phone. Through texting I can think about my responses.

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