My mother taught me that in every situation I find myself, I need to be grateful and content with what I have. Every step of the way, I have realized that life is always work in progress until we are old and grey with no energy to do anymore. Well, this is typically the situation when we preach for everyone to embrace their relationship status and make the most of it while they can’t control certain things beyond their control. This also goes for singles. However, it is becoming increasingly pretentious of singles, especially with around their married friends and family, to castigate relationships perhaps to make themselves feel better about themselves. Yes, we all know married also comes with its own baggage but there’s no glory in demeaning marriage.
Can you relate yet?
If not, perhaps the below attitude of the singles around you will ring a bell to the point I’m making:
Have you ever heard a single lady or guy degrade the concept of marriage around you or other people who are looking forward to getting or already married? It’s just sick to hear a single person say, “I just can’t take that from anyone in the name of marriage”. Guy, in the name of stability, you will stretch yourself till there’s nothing to stretch anymore. Otherwise, maybe there’s a good reason you’ve not been married. You need to check yourself if this is you right there.
There are so many things we learn and uncover everyday so for a single person to describe their single time as “finding themselves,” is just an excuse you’re probably never going to get over because introspection you’re claiming that personal growth stop where committed relationships start which is not true if you are with a compatible partner.
Openly talking about how “sad” it is that some girls settle down instead of “doing something with their lives” is just pathetic. I remember taking a walk with my Dad years ago before I was married and he asked me what I wanted to do with myself after National Service Corp, I said to him I want to do this and this and that but they are also relative to when I get married and the plans my partner also has for the family. I thought he’d be upset that I wanted to alter my life for marriage but he was happy to see that I was willing to be flexible to allow marriage have an impact in my life.
When my brother told me I’d get enough sex that I would get tired of it when I get married, I never could understand that but that is indeed a fact. So when singles particularly like to brag about the new hottie in their life and asking how long-term relationship people don’t get “bored” with having sex with the same person over and over again, it’s like a sorry story waiting to end in a huge mess. Don’t feel sorry for those have a slice of heaven every day. It’s time to worry about who you are becoming by being with all these different people randomly.
Faking it till we make it is something we all do and if perchance you’re not doing that, you need to learn to start doing that. At least, learning to be what you see yourself in the nearest future. But when singles fake about how glad they are to be single in front of your friends in one relationship or the other, like their whole life is to-die-for then obviously, it’s them we need to worry about.
I can’t get enough amazement about how a single guy or lady feels they are usually in the best position to doll out advice to couples when they themselves are largely unfamiliar with the relationship itself. Married couples or those in serious relationships, you may feel you envy your single friends and trust me the feeling is mutual even to them so when next you need genuine advice, find more mature married couples to council you.
While I advised that it’s liberating to embrace your singleness, let’s not take it a notch too far and get overexcited to the extent that we are pretentious about our status! At the end of the day, no one wants to be alone all their lives.