Quitters don’t win and winners don’t quit, at least that’s what they say. So whenever I get discouraged, I look for that one excuse to hold on, hoping that perhaps there’s something there that will be worth my effort and steadfastness at the end of the day. A lot of pictorial messages say “it will end in praise” but does every story end in praise though? I suppose it depends on the perspective in which you look at it. Just because it hurts when it ends doesn’t mean it’s not for good eventually. Such is the situation when you’re convinced within yourself that it is time to move on in that draining relationship and say goodbye!
Celine Dion, one of my favorite artistes puts it right when she sang –
“Goodbye’s the saddest word I’ll ever hear
Goodbye’s the last time I will hold you near
Someday you’ll say that word and I will cry
It’ll break my heart to hear you say goodbye”
Both men and women have similar reactions to break ups but we have different time frames wherein these reactions besets us. We hurt, heal eventually and rebound. Perhaps after the rebound, some find themselves coming back to each other. Whether the relationship thereafter is much stronger or fades even after than the first is another deal entirely.
So maybe in some situations, it doesn’t have to be the saddest thing you’ll ever say or better yet, not the saddest thing that will ever happen to you. But in whatever situation you find yourself, be bold to recognize the signs so that you don’t keep holding on to someone that’ll rather be gone.
Here are a few indications that your heart convicts you that it is time to say goodbye and be better for yourself.
The Trust is Gone
As long as the trust is gone, you might as well let the relationship go otherwise, there’ll be pain and bitterness and regret which you won’t be able to handle eventually. You need to be able to trust your partner. Checking each other’s phones, social media accounts, and emails is not the foundation of a healthy relationship either.
You fight more often than not
Having fights every now and then does not signify an unhealthy relationship, they are a part of human interaction and how we choose to resolve conflicts. What should ring a bell is, when these fights become so frequent that it is actually surprising when a day goes by without fighting, when fighting becomes the only way you two communicate. If you find yourself always engaged in an inconclusive fight, over and over again, be it petty issues or serious ones, it’s time to take yourself out of the vicious cycle.
Your partner has potential.
You feel as though you’re holding out for some new and improved version of your partner to evolve. Growth is obviously something we want from being with someone but if your partner isn’t who you want him/her to be already, there’s a pretty high chance that you’re not in the right relationship. People definitely change and grow over time but you’re going to ruin your partner if your happiness is dependent on them changing.
When you guys have no respect for each other to the point where name calling becomes the norm, sweetheart, be sure that you’re not in a healthy relationship. Words hurt, and words hurt a relationship. It leaves a mark on a relationship that no apology can wash away.
You can’t be yourself in the relationship.
If the price of being in your relationship means you can’t be who you truly are, that’s too high a price to sacrifice for anyone. Some bit of compromise is acceptable in a relationship you care about but when you have to silence your voice, feel stifled or shamed to be yourself, there’s only so much time you can give into that relationship without giving way. A healthy relationship should encourage who you are and make the best of who you are.
The not-so-good times are getting more than the good times.
When the bad outweighs the good, it’s time to measure how much you want to be committed in such a relationship. Every relationship, like you must have heard, has its rocky moments but if you can’t even remember the last time you were happy, there’s a problem.
The tragic end of something is the beginning of a fresh start, a better start for you definitely so don’t be afraid to let go. You’ll be pleasantly surprised what amazing new thing is lurking in the corners.