I remember growing up, my older cousin asked me when I’d like to get married. Probably by the age of 27, I said. I remember him being shocked and said that will be way too old to get married. I didn’t let his opinion rub off on me. In any way, it wouldn’t have killed to stay single a little longer. Someone would say it’s easier for married folks to say but the truth is, in whatever capacity we find ourselves, there is always a reason to embrace who we are, otherwise, how do we expect someone else to appreciate and love us if we cannot accept ourselves enough to be desired?
In this age of Bella Naija and Aso Ebi craze, it is increasingly becoming difficult to enjoy being single. Whether weddings have now become for show or not, the urge to belong to that group in the society has now taken the better of most singles that they can’t see any reason to celebrate their relationship status anymore. But instead of comparing lives and playing the grass is always greener, there are reasons why singles can enjoy flying solo and appreciate moments of solitude.
Enjoying your own space.
This may seem obvious, and there are also plenty of married couples and people in relationships who enjoy their own space and live in their own apartments or sleep in separate bedrooms. But there’s something about having the freedom to come and go places, like spending a long weekend in Miami with your girlfriends without having to consult with your other half, or enjoying a random afternoon at a café or the park without feeling guilty about leaving home behind. It’s a pretty liberating feeling not have to check in or follow up with someone about your daily business.
Focusing on your own career and life goals.
There’s no greater freedom than pursuing your own career and passion without having to plan it around someone else’s future. Take this time to focus on your life goals and ask yourself what you would like to achieve in the next few years. Develop your own identity and let yourself shine through your work and actions. Being single gives you the license to do certain things people in relationships cannot.
Appreciating the life you have.
When you’re single, it’s easy to get caught up in the life you want, rather than enjoying the life you already have. But there’s something to appreciate about dictating your own time and space and enjoying moments of solitude. Reflect on your life’s blessings, including your family and friends, your career, your health, and even your fabulous personality.
Spending your money as you please.
If you want to splurge on a new designer bag, you will feel no guilt in doing just that. If you want to get a manicure and pedicure, spend the whole day at the salon, why not? Of course, the idea is not to be careless with your money, but it’s great to be able to treat yourself and spend your money as you wish. You don’t need to save money to re-decorate the living room, worry about looking for the most lavish birthday present for your better half, or worry about child care.
Finding the right person.
Being single is a great time to reflect on what you look for in a boyfriend or husband. Think of all the deal breakers you know you won’t be happy with in a relationship, but also create a list of all the good qualities and things that are most important to you. Do you really want a family? Would you re-locate for love? Instead of rushing into a relationship for the sake of being in one, let things happen naturally. Use this time to also heal finding yourself again especially after a painful breakup or relationship. Sometimes your happy ending isn’t with someone else; it’s about finding yourself and being happy with who you are.
It’s not that you don’t want to share your time and life with someone else, or that you’re being irresponsible, it’s just that you don’t have to. When you’re single, you can truly do whatever you want that people in relationships can’t really do. You can spend your own energy, time, and resources on your own fancy without having to get someone else’s approval.
After all, it’s just one life, one time to live each phase. Enjoy it. Celebrate it. Embrace it!