Men are from mars and women are from venus, yada yada yada. At the end of the end of the day, we’re all humans and certain things are applicable to all humans. Women are said to be a pool of secrets but men are no different too. People only say or show what they want you to believe anyway.
Have you ever felt like your opinionated husband is holding something back? Men aren’t naturally gifted at expressing themselves like women though, so they tend to keep quiet about sensitive subjects. But those secrets can cause marital problems. If men feel safe to speak honestly without condemnation, it might improve their experience in the relationship. Find out what your husband’s thinking, but might never tell you.
- “I need you to make me feel like a big, strong man.”
Most men won’t admit this but they can only really be “men” if they have someone to exercise their masculinity over. Your husband may feel insecure if his masculine qualities never impress you. He’ll feel even less like a tough guy divulging this need for extra attention. So compliment him and appreciate the very littlest efforts he puts into being the man.
- “Yes, I was checking out that woman.”
I realized this from my Uni days, hanging out with my male friends sitting over the fence, checking out every curvaceous female that passed us by but because your husband is with you, just so he doesn’t hurt your feelings, he hesitate even if he feels comfortable to admit it to you. The male brain is hardwired to notice pretty young things. They stay fertile and capable of producing healthy children even in their old age anyway.
- “Making love is great, but let’s just have sex on occasion.”
When it comes to doing the deed, men are microwaves and women are slow cookers. While men enjoy the romance of making love, sometimes they prefer to get to the business faster. It doesn’t mean they love or appreciate your womanhood any less. It is tough for them to delicately explain this so if they are normally eager to please you, return the favor every now and then with a mind-blowing quickie.
- “I have particular sexual fantasies.”
Whether it’s innocent or naughty, men probably won’t make these most private wishes known. Many men have a difficult time communicating what they prefer in bed, especially if they haven’t had the pleasure of being with their partner long enough to express their fantasies.
- “Sometimes I’d rather you be quiet.”
Although you’re perfectly capable of listening to him while you’re relaxing, he can’t multitask as well. The male brain is more linear, moving from task to task. Communicating at work all day exhausts his brain more than yours but admitting he needs alone time when all you want to do is spill your office problem wouldn’t seem supportive, so he just lets you talk while he struggles to keep up. So try giving him some space when he comes home. Once he’s had the chance to unwind, conversation will come more easily for him.
- “I lie to keep the peace.”
Whether directly lying or withdrawing information, if he doesn’t know what will set you off, he may fib to avoid a potential conflict. However, if women understand that this secrecy is about fear, women can be more compassionate and help their men with their anxieties only if women themselves are comfortable and mature to handle the truth.
- “I wish you took better care of yourself.”
Yes, he loves you the way you are, but he also wants you to like how you look and feel. But he might not know how to suggest you get a new hairdo, join a gym or take a day off from the kids and just be relaxed and fun again. Instead, he doesn’t say anything until it builds up to the point where it becomes a blown out issue. You can show him you value his opinion by asking him about your look or health habits to sound off his opinion in that regard if you’re not sure it’s something he’d even be bothered about.
- “We’re struggling financially.”
Men equate financial stability with their provider skills. The more unstable things are, the more they feel like they have failed as a provider. If he’s making less than he used to and the bills aren’t able to be paid, he might hide it even at the detriment of your distrust opinion of him after certain expectations are not been met. As a supportive partner, stay involved in the finances so that life’s curve balls don’t deal both of you. This is when he need to be reassured of their partner’s love and loyalty the most.
So while men may keep these and many more, it is imperative to be sensitive especially toward what they are not saying. The level of sensitivity also matters so that we’re not also been overly sensitive and become an added concern to them.
Can you think of any other secrets men keep? Otherwise, men, help us understand you better.