Scares of Parenting


Children are such a delight really until you begin to get comfortable with having one too many. Either with one or five, the anxiety of parenting children are the same. The concern of raising them adequately, eliminating the agitation of how they’ll turn out in future. It’s one thing to train a child in the way he/she should go, it’s another thing for them to actually lead their lives on the objectives parents have instilled in them. I remember my husband saying one of the reasons he was confident to marry me is because I lived an epitome of a well-cultured and put together. As a by-product of a dysfunctional family, that was one of the greatest compliments I had ever received, not because I needed someone else to confirm that to me but because I deliberately make myself conscious to stay conservative in the midst of all the drama that went on around me while growing up.

Scares of parenting – we can raise our children one way and hope they remain and build themselves on the plane that we expect of them to do exploits, otherwise.

A few of these jolts include:

  1. Skepticism or conviction that we’re actually ready to be able parents in the first place. From watching TV and movies, you’d think that the 20s are a magical age, full of self-discovery, maturation, and success in relationships and work. And for some, that’s true. But that doesn’t mean that parenting can’t happen alongside of self-discovery or career success, or that all people are better off having a decade or more of freedom and fun before settling down. When this happens, does it automatically mean we are ready to be parents ourselves?
  2. Finding enough time in the day and balancing motherhood and career. In the old fashion design of the family, women ought to stay back home to raise responsible and conservative children. Nowadays, even the women have joined the labour market, hustling alongside their husbands to make ends meet. While this is admirable, the ones who suffer proper care, attention, education and upbringing are the children. No matter what’s taught in schools, they won’t teach your family values or on maintaining and valuing relationships. In the long run, we’re left with the by-product of our neglect, except for some magical reason of innate discipline.
  3. Effectively disciplining children. Just this morning, I was remembering how stern my mom used to be. Children nowadays are more expressive and less intimidated because parents have lost confidence to use the rod. Self-expression is good but when there is no limit to it to the point where you often feel embarrassed by some of these “expressions”, then there should be stern decorum for peace of mind on the long run.
  4. Allowing children to develop independence in a dangerous world. You want them to grow some balls, yet you aren’t ready for them to go all out. All parents have this scare even if we don’t voice it out. There’s too much perverseness in the world to let all your hard work go to waste, is the fright.

Other scares include:

  1. Being a single parent and/or having enough help or support.
  2. Ensuring children receive commensurate quality for education as much as you’re paying for.
  3. Guarding against technology influences.  
  4. Bearing the cost of raising children.

Single parents have double doses of these scares as opposed to complete couple parenting. The key to confidence in parenting is God and then confidence itself. You should be able to trust the fact that you’re much older with more level of maturity and experience. You can never be too careful when raising children but you can do your absolute best, engage your children as often as possible, teach them the important things, intermediary life (not just the basics as it applies) and hope for the best. That’s all you can do – hope for the best with all that’s been said and done.

2 thoughts on “Scares of Parenting

  1. My dear, my elder sisters have children in whom I have helped to raise. They are lovely but mehn, I’m not exactly looking forward to being a mommy. Too much stress and work. It’s so easy to loose oneself in parenting. May God help us

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