As simple as marriage was designed to be, there are lots of issues we encounter along the way that makes us wonder if we made the right choice or if we can live with our choices for the rest of our lives. This is why it is important from time to time to encourage ourselves as married people on managing some of these expectations or dealing better with challenges we face. One major culprit of marital conflict is financial challenges. Just like any other challenge with marriage, financial challenges can be subdued by overcoming our fears and exercising self-control. However, when the financial challenges become pressures then there’s only one culprit – materialism.
How do we valuing materials or money over relationship and expect to get the best of the relationship? Naturally, couples who are materialistic will rate at the bottom of the happiness scale simply because the “things” they chase are simple non-exhausting vanity which are not the basic reason for marriage. It’s not the lack of money that is usually the culprit, it is materialism itself that creates much of the difficulty even if couples have plenty of money. Other factors in this category include:
- Having conflicting money values
Foolish spending can be a reasonable grounds for divorce. When a spouse feels the other spends their money foolishly, it increases the misunderstanding and conflict occurrence with one party feeling like he/she is just not compatible with their spouse.
- Adopting traditional roles when they don’t fit.
It is important to note that the commonly held belief that men should handle the financial planning and investments in the family and the women should take care of the day-to-day finances may not fit every couple. The other way round might just be the saving secret of your marriage and you need to quickly identify that to avoid any financial pressures in your home.
- Having opposing money styles.
Couples may sometimes have mismatched money styles. While one is a spender, the other is a saver. Working against each other will cause fights and tension in the marriage. The secret to being successfully at peace with this difference is not to try to change each other, rather let each party live within the means they bring to the table. This is for a greater cause to work for both of them on the long run.
While somethings are better late than never, it is imperative to have or develop a financial plan in your marriage to understand expectations between the couple. Shying away from this responsibility only to be unprepared and demanding along the way will only cause more tension and conflict in the marriage. Couples who are open and conscious about their communications and attitudes about money can truly have it all. Finances are the biggest cause of stress and stress is a major cause of illness, improving financial literacy also has the added benefit of improving your health.
Keeping your values in the right place and improving finances can actually bring health, wealth and happiness in your marriage.