Dating rules in the 21st century

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Dating is a very interesting past time. It easily engulfs us when we happen to find that one person that makes life suddenly look beautiful. The conventional dating style is one man one woman; it’s the conventional equation to a relationship. Getting the best out of your relationship also depends on the patience to give as much into that relationship as you want out of it. This won’t happen if the practice is to keep changing relationships out of fear for negative eventualities or jumping from one person to another. One that beats my understanding the most is having two relationships simultaneously. My only question there is how is this even possible where there is love?

Fun as it may seem to be young and in the dating game, like everything else, there is time and season for all beautiful things. Imagine a simpler time when a simple girl and boy meet, say through a friend of a friend. They both like each other but no one can say anything first. The nerve, the rush of adrenaline, the excitement and butterflies – it all adds up to the anticipation of love you know you want to experience. And when the girl and boy finally find a common ground to make a conversation, they are nervous through it together. No one is taking advantage of the other because they are not even sure what’s happening until it happens to them. That sort of dating produces something worth cherishing eventually.

To older generation, this example may have at least a vague distant familiarity. But to the younger ones, it may be utterly foreign and antiquated. Traditional dating required courage, strategic planning and a considerable investment of ego. But with the advent of the jet age, the charm and connection is lost. It becomes more like a fishing adventure, just hoping for a nibble in the open sea. A lot of singles are so eager to settle down, of course after years of being too difficult to please. Yet when you engage some of them, you’ll find they are nowhere near ready for such a commitment as marriage themselves.

When I read stories like ‘I’ve aborted for my boyfriend 7 times during our 3 years relationship but now I’m scared he won’t marry me or concerned I might not be able to have children again’, I’m thinking how does a man still want to wife such a girl? Men want jewel of inestimable value, remember? Because most of our relationships start with sex before they turn into something substantial, it can be rather difficult figuring out where exactly that line between the two is located. Are you dating? Or are you just having sex? Are you officially together or just passing time? Ladies, don’t fool yourselves. A man most likely knows he can/wants to marry you from the first few interactions he has with you 90% in most cases. So when a lady says ‘my boyfriend doesn’t know when he wants to settle down’ – true, he may not know when but he most definitely knows if you’re the one.  But a lack of defining what is and is not happening can cause great confusion and emotional turmoil in your supposed relationship.

However true it may be also that a few singles have the misconception of marriage based on their background, upbringing or even seeing marriages around them crumble, the essence of togetherness is no less defeated in any way. Look at it this way, you’ve had siblings you grew with. In those years, you’ve fought, you’ve loved, you’ve been disappointed, you’ve been mischievous, you’ve been partners in crime and all of that. How then you do expect someone whom you’ve only known a quarter of the years spent with your siblings to be so perfect you’d never have your ups and downs? These things are part of marriage. It breaks you and yeti t brings you even closer together and the best part of it, you get the most beautiful, irreplaceable gifts from it.

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