Men are streamlined. They are ready to go anytime, anywhere. Women are naturally complex. Men can be compared men to microwaves and women to slow cookers. If you want to warm up that slow cooker, there are certain things you must do.
Let your wife be a woman, and show your appreciation.
You married that woman because you were attracted to her differences, including the fact that she cared enough to ask you questions about yourself and your day. So let her be different. Allow her to be the communications expert she naturally is. Yes, she may be fussy about details and sometimes have bad timing but that fussiness and commitment to improving your relationship make her who she is. It is part of that mystique you fell in love with in the first place.
A man has to accept a woman’s top needs and learn how to read her. The prevailing winds of a woman change every day, and even from hour to hour. A man who can adjust to those changes, approach her sensitively, meet her needs, and ensure she feels loved, creates the environment of the warmth a woman craves.
Let her be a woman. Take her out for a nice dinner. Show your appreciation of her femininity when she dresses up for you. Whistle at her and touch those curves, showing that you still desire her.
Listen, but don’t problem-solve unless she asks.
When your wife talks, she isn’t necessarily talking to you about that matter because she already has a set conclusion. She is talking because she is in the midst of processing some information or an emotion and wants to share that with you. Most of the time, she will already have decided what she needs to do, but she longs for your wisdom and security to empathize with her.
That something she’s telling you may or may not seem important to you, but you should treat it as important. When she talks, you need to actively listen. Little things matter to a woman – texts to tell her you’re thinking of her; a quick phone call in the midst of your business trip; little surprises that convey your love for her. Your involvement and your interest in the little and big things of her day make all the difference in the health of your marriage.
Be her rock.
Your wife wants you to be the strength she can count on, that immovable force who will protect her and your family against anything, whether it’s the neighbor who’s angry because you son trampled his flower bushes, a mouse that has taken up residence in your cereal cabinet, or an ex who keeps showing up uninvited.
Because women are wired innately to be relational, they also care intensely about relationships. Along with that caring comes deep emotion, which sometimes leaks out in a form men dread – tears. Most men don’t know what to do in that awkward teary situation. But the “rock” man, when he sees tears, gathers his wife in his strong arms, lets her cry it out, and simply holds her until she’s ready to talk about it. It won’t matter whether you’re only five feet, eight inches and 140 pounds, in that moment, you’ll be the most caring man ever liveth.
Get active, both inside and outside the bedroom.
If a man only makes love to his wife in the bedroom, both are missing out. He needs to make love to her outside the bedroom. I’m talking about helping. Helping in the kitchen, with little chores, bringing home dinner so she doesn’t have to cook or clean. By so doing, you are gaining points of respect with your wife.
A woman whose husband serves her practically is going to be a much more willing participant in their bed, because she appreciates his efforts and respects him as a man. Nothing would please her more than to have you ride in on your white steed to rescue her from a difficult situations.
A woman who has a good sex life tends to experience less stress in life. She knows she’s in good hands with her husband, because he has her best in mind. He is willing to do anything for his wife. In response, he gains a partner who is willing to do anything with, and for, him.