When does a marital issue become a public affair?

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It’s not only sad but it is heart-piercing when I read different relationship issues, marriage issues on social media and you find more women than men seeking advice, ranting and begging for solutions on how to get it together again, with or without their spouses.

A pastor once prayed for the happiness of a troubled couple. He says whether it be together or in separation, happiness and peace of mind is the most important thing.  Now this is a contradictory prayer you’ll often hear from pastors or Christians. As much as we want to play holy and be without blame, in most cases, we often neglect the truth of the issue to address it accordingly. No two marriages are the same, therefore, no one solution will apply to both. If only the church will be as realistic as the issues most marriages face, I believe there won’t be so much confused people on social media seeking advice from total strangers and hoping to get genuine answers.

Let me share some of the stories I’ve read recently.

  • A woman comes on this platform to complain about her husband always asking for nude pictures of her and video them having sex because it’ll help him curb his emotions and guard him against infidelity. When she refused, some other girl sends him nude pictures. The wife confronts him. He out rightly claims she caused it. Now, to save her marriage, she considers dancing to his tune and is on social media asking for advice.
  • A single man claims a neighbor came to him for shelter on a cold night because her roommate was out and she was lonely. He lets her in to help and she starts disturbing and making passes at him until she asks him to hold her. They get intimate in the process and by process, I don’t mean a weak moment of 1 round. They go 3 rounds and by morning, this girl claims the man raped her and he won’t be free of her family voodoo until he marries her. Now he’s on social media asking for advice.
  • A woman claims her husband beats her till she bleeds and then makes love to her. When she asks him why he needs to shed her blood before they ever have sex, he confesses that the sight of blood arouses him. Eventually, she resorts to willingly letting him cut her with razor instead of beating her black and blue before they have sex. Now, all her body is cut and bruised. She’s tired of it. You guessed right – she’s now on social media asking readers for advice.
  • A man is ranting and cursing about the jelly body his wife now has after having their baby and he’s now irritated and calls her ugly. He’s not even able to touch her or please like she begs him to yet he states in his rant that he loves her. Now his on social media asking for advice.

I could go on and on with these ridiculous stories. Ridiculous not because I don’t think these things happen. More horror things are happening in marriages and relationships that we’ll ever know but my question is, at what point in marriage and relationship issues should they be made public to total strangers on social media?

Love – humans want it so bad and we want to be justified even in our stupidity that we are being fools for love. When it then gets to the point where our senses begin to unknot all the foolish bolts in our head, then we feel it’s time for someone, a neutral person who knows not half of the truth, to support our decision by only the truth that we put forward.

There are definitely times when we need to call a third party to help fix the traces of wrongs in our marriages or relationships. I believe that just as the protocol of the wedding, every issue should first be attempted to be resolved within the couple in love so many times as you are patient to address your conflict. If your patience wears thin and they still don’t listen, you’re your spouse over to the church for counselling and interventions because at the altar, the parents hand the man and wife over to the church and the church joins them together. If by the end of church intervention, nothing’s different, then families should be involved. But this isn’t to the ultimate end of separation or divorce. It’s just to help each identify and get back to the things that were once most important on our lives.

Anyone has a better way to answer the question?

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