Can someone tell me how to retain relationships? I seem to have lost all of mine.

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What makes people work so hard to build a relationship only to deride it after a short while?

All our lives, we form relationships with almost everyone we come across. Be it classmates, colleagues, friend, girlfriend or boyfriend, wife or husband, etc. Especially those relationships that aren’t connected to us by blood, there is always a meeting point and an agreement point that determines how the relationship goes. It’s so easy, or almost easy, to meet someone and say your first word, have your first conversation. In most cases, if you’re able to hold a conversation on the basis of like or interest, you’re most likely to hold that person in a longer relationship beyond those few seconds or minute. If you goof, well, there goes your chance of friendship which could be the least form of relationship leading to a lasting one.

So, we’ve had our moment of breaking the ice and having that first unbelievable conversation, what next?

In some cases, our views of people from afar are most times contrary to who they really are. You can’t tell a nervous person, for instance, from afar until you’re close enough to something or an activity that brings out that trait in them. In some cases, it’s better to appreciate people from afar and eulogize their seemingly perfect persona that makes you want to be close to them. I say this because once we get to know people, with all their good sides and bad sides, their flaws and weakness, we tend to let those traits form some sort of diminishing returns on our relationship with that person. A friend said to me once that it takes a sincere person to know you for who you are, imperfections and all, and still love you unconditionally.

It’s easy to read up for an interview and blow the minds of the interviewer(s) and get the job but if you really didn’t deserve the job, your time on the job will determine how long you’ll have your job. So how really do you retain what you studied so hard to get? What is the thrill in working so hard for it only to make a mockery of it? People sometimes claim that they get tired of a thing and need to move on to the next most exciting thing in just a matter of time but why put your hand to the plow then look back? Rather not at all than insult a relationship that you worked hard to build with someone who would have been better off without you.

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One thought on “Can someone tell me how to retain relationships? I seem to have lost all of mine.

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