Unlike Maths and English or other any subject which comes with textbooks and manuals for study and understanding, relationships don’t come with manuals. Be it relationship with children, parents, colleagues, spouses and any other type of interactive relationship we find ourselves in. However, you may find a lot of texts giving their opinion on how to better maintain relationships but really, what works for someone might not work for another. It’s not in the method of execution, it’s the human factor which is very unpredictable. And that is what you need to put into consideration the most – the person whom you are in a relationship with. You need to study them, understand what makes them happy, understand what ticks them off, and understand how they want to be appreciated and all of that. Once you have the understanding of your target in mind, that’s about half of your relationship success story.
If this be the case, is there need for relationship counselling then? If people can just study each other and consciously work towards a great relationship, why do we need to subject ourselves to counselling?
In my opinion, while counselling may be required to help some better manage or reconcile troublesome differences and repeating patterns of stress upon their relationships, I think other relationships thrive quite well without this intervention.
Take for instance parent-children relationship, most of us don’t have to subject ourselves to Parenting 101 before we are able to work it out. It doesn’t always mean we get it right all the time but with intuition and love, we are guided in our relationship to be the best we can be.
Why then is so much emphasis on the spousal relationship? Are adults really that difficult to get along with each other? Or is it because they are opposite sex coming together from different families and background?
One of such interventions is couple therapy. How do we get to the point where we are needing therapy? It sounds like going through chemo to get out cancer from a body, just the thought of it. Well, that’s to me. If we consciously eliminate those things that allow strife fester in our relationships, we find that having a couples’ retreat is much more fun than subjecting ourselves to a third party before we are able to openly talk to ourselves.
Giving in a relationship, and it’s not just tangible gifts, opens numerous avenues for both parties to be happy and be the best they can be.
Marriage counselling is a popular one. I’m just going to take a censor at this point. How many people here underwent marriage counselling and how has it been helpful to you?
Bottom line, life can be simple. Relationships are meant to be sweet, brining joy and fullness in all areas into our lives. There’s no gain in complicating love as simple as it was meant to be. However, if you need to get back on track and want to enjoy a blissful relationship, I strongly advice that you get counselling. You can find counselling in churches or even online relationship counselling sites. Reach out to a mentor too and do your relationship some good. It’ll help correct every wrong in your relationship and get you where you want to be. There’s no humiliation in getting help. It does more good than you can give it credit for.
The world needs happiness and love. Won’t you let it be said of you?