What’s the implication if a younger sibling marrying before the older?

Personally? I don’t understand what the deal is about younger siblings marrying before their older ones. At least, that was what I thought before I was married. I might have felt differently if it actually happened to me and I had to wait years after to be married especially if I haven’t been lucky enough to be in a relationship.

I remember my sister telling me her boyfriend proposed to her but she wanted to be sure it was ok with me before she agreed to be married. My first impression was, why would I mind? If he’s ready and you’re in love, what could be more important?

But this is Africa. In a culture like ours, matters like this are quite sensitive. It is mostly judged by society not necessarily because we are convinced that it is wrong for a younger sibling to be married before the older. … More What’s the implication if a younger sibling marrying before the older?

Rate this:

Relationships to let go in the New Year

I was reading on a comment on one of my favorite blogs recently where someone commented on the many sad relationship stories on almost every blog these days. It almost sounded like emotions were taking too much of the commenter’s reads and he wanted to see more of intellectual articles than sad relationship stories. I feel the same way too.

I saw a video recently and it emphasizes how we strive for many accomplishments in life and when we get them, we continue on the rat race all our lives. But we forget the things that keep us most healthy and happy into old age which is good relationships. We may all appreciate strategic communications and meetings which involve little or no emotions but behind the scenes, our outcome is dependent on the relationships in our lives. We get happiness and joy and zeal to excel and confidence to achieve and motivation to strive from the relationships in our lives.

So instead of fighting to do away with emotions all together, why not identify those relationships that tell bad stories in our lives or leave us with negative feelings and focus on those that make you want to live happily ever after and do exploits.

Such relationships as: … More Relationships to let go in the New Year

Rate this:

The effect of “Whatever!” in a relationship

Very interesting but very annoying that a mere word, so randomly used, can be so hurtful when spoken in a relationship.

I remember the first time I was told “whatever”. I used to be so naïve, so innocent I didn’t understand inferences and I would struggle so much to explain myself. But maybe because I wasn’t out to win a fight or be so defensive towards my partner, I always sucked at explaining myself. I was always judged to be in the wrong. So you can imagine how much of a slap in the face I got when after trying so hard and all I got was – whatever, never mind.

Surprise plus shock but slap in the face plus tears in my eyes.

Communication is one of the most complicated skills you don’t get taught at institutions. Whether verbal words, non-verbal or just by the tone of your voice, there are definitely a lot to be mindful of when choosing your words during a conversation, especially as it begins to heat up. Whichever way your conversation is heading, there are just some things you don’t say in a relationship if that relationship actually does matter to you. Words like: … More The effect of “Whatever!” in a relationship

Rate this:

Good, Acceptable and Perfect Will

Someone once told me to trust in God is good. To believe in Him and have faith that He will sort you out is good. Then I asked, what if after believing I also make plans for just in case. He said, that is applying wisdom which is acceptable. But resting on completely on God by the renewing of your mind is an example of a perfect will of God. Then I began to ponder. I always thought a good acceptable and perfect will of God is one narrative.

Looking at Romans 12:2, I must have read it time and again but I never paid extra attention to the last part of the verse. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” … More Good, Acceptable and Perfect Will

Rate this:

Really, what’s the significance of a wedding proposal to the marriage itself?

Ahh! Love is in the air. Everything suddenly feels different. Life suddenly has a new meaning and it makes you see things differently. It makes you certain there must have been something there that wasn’t there before. In the words of Mrs. Pots from Beauty and the Beast.

Love is indeed wonderful when you get it right. But how do you tell that you’ve gotten it right? A lot of us don’t have the patience to explore through the stages of a relationship before we are so sure we have found the love of our lives.

Relationships, these days, are formed in different ways, in different places, through different forums. Unlike the days of our parents when there were not so many avenues or determinants to choosing a life partner. These days, a lot of things or people seem to play a huge role in how we envisage a successful marriage.

I mean, what you do call a situation where a lady posts on her Instagram page that her a boyfriend finally proposed to her but she declined his proposal because their wedding hashtag names wouldn’t sound posh? Like seriously? Call me old but what has a “posh” name hashtag got to do with spending the rest of your life, whether happily or otherwise, with a life partner? If you don’t love someone, you will always find a thousand and one reasons to stop a wedding. True love is in the eyes of your partner. It’s in their character and care for you, not in a name hashtag!

Worse still, a lot of people in this generation, place way too much emphasis on their wedding proposal rather than planning and seeking counsel for a successful marriage. Don’t get me wrong, I would love wedding proposal with flowers and roses and sunset on the beach and things but hey, if I get that and what comes thereafter is a life of pain and misery with abuse and violence, does that not just totally take away the beauty of what I thought was once there but now is clearly not there again? Or was it ever truly there before? Hmm.

Set your priorities right. Don’t be fooled by social media and friends who only are interested in making a mockery of your life. If you have it, flowers and all – truly, then grab it. Embrace it – it’s beautiful and breathtaking. But don’t focus on the vanity of shallow love and keeping up appearances and forget what’s really important.

Be guided. … More Really, what’s the significance of a wedding proposal to the marriage itself?

Rate this:

Break the rules; live a little. No, live a lot. It’s just one life to live

People have often say to me, ‘live a little’.

I know I can be stiff and I can be hard on myself. Don’t get me wrong, I know what fun is. It’s just that I either don’t have the strength or stamina for it or I just come up with excuses why I shouldn’t or can’t make out time for it.

I have a lot ideas and dreams that I juggle on my mind over and over but I also can’t shake off the fact that I need a considerable amount of time to put my ideas into action. Other important things take up my time as well but at the end of the day, those things I’m not doing are the things that hunt me and say to me, ‘you could have done better today’ when I lay my head on my bed.

Different people are aiming for different things especially because it’s a new year. Yet there a many people out there too who we can connect with or collaborate with and form great alliances to achieve great goals this year. But more importantly, while we seek to achieve dreams and attain our goals, let’s not forget what is most important. A life well spent. … More Break the rules; live a little. No, live a lot. It’s just one life to live

Rate this:

Sustaining the woman’s vision

I am proud to be a woman, not because I am a wife or a mother. I am proud to be a woman because just like man, I am educated, I have dreams, aspirations, hopes and I get to do these things that men do while being a wife and a mother.

I thought my 8 – 5 job was hectic until I stayed a few days on leave at home doing my ‘primary assignment’. Seriously, that’s more than my 8 – 5 job. The home is demanding and there’s no relief from it.

Now imagine that this is all a woman gets to do, be a wife and a mother. Is she working? Definitely. Is she being paid for it? In most cases, no not physical cash and when the payments come, they don’t come immediately. Building a home is an investment. Only in this case can I truly attest that the patient dog eats the fattest bone and that too is by God’s mercies. … More Sustaining the woman’s vision

Rate this: