I was reading on a comment on one of my favorite blogs recently where someone commented on the many sad relationship stories on almost every blog these days. It almost sounded like emotions were taking too much of the commenter’s reads and he wanted to see more of intellectual articles than sad relationship stories. I feel the same way too.
I saw a video recently and it emphasizes how we strive for many accomplishments in life and when we get them, we continue on the rat race all our lives. But we forget the things that keep us most healthy and happy into old age which is good relationships. We may all appreciate strategic communications and meetings which involve little or no emotions but behind the scenes, our outcome is dependent on the relationships in our lives. We get happiness and joy and zeal to excel and confidence to achieve and motivation to strive from the relationships in our lives.
So instead of fighting to do away with emotions all together, why not identify those relationships that tell bad stories in our lives or leave us with negative feelings and focus on those that make you want to live happily ever after and do exploits.
Such relationships as:
- People that take more from you than are beneficial to you.
If a relationship – whether platonic or romantic – is taking more from you in every aspect of your life than adding value, then it may be time to let that relationship go with last year. You definitely don’t want to continue a brand new year with draining relationships like that. No matter the relationship, a healthy one shouldn’t make you feel drained or empty all of the time. There should always be a healthy balance of giving and receiving on both sides.
- People who feel nothing in saying no to you or reject you without regret.
If you pay close attention, even when people aren’t speaking, you can tell when they’re saying “no” to you whether friends or lovers. When someone who used to call you regularly now begins to get too busy to even call at all or your texting begins to get one-sided, it’s not until they come out plainly to tell you they are avoiding you. You should be able to read in between the lines. Yes, sometimes reject can be your greatest motivator to be what people who used to look down on you never thought you’d be but then it depends on how you choose to let it affect you. Most of the time, when relationships aren’t going right, people keep emphasizing patience and strength and perseverance but only the strong can persevere. Not all of us have the strength for two to sustain a relationship. Thus, it’s unhealthy to stretch yourself to limits. If your indecision in 2016 wasn’t enough sign for you, then it may be time for you to make a decision to move on in 2017.
- People who repeatedly hurt or mistreat you till you know it has become harmful to your mental or physical health.
It usually angers me when in a relationship a party complains of neglect or being mistreated but when a third party intervenes, they say as long as there’s no case of physical violence, then it can be weathered. Like seriously? There a so many things that can be harmful to one’s mental and physical health and violence is just one of it. It’s not the only one. Neglect is part of it. When you get hurt instead of happiness or get tears instead of laughter, it is bad for you on the long run. Especially if you’re not into a binding relationship, it just doesn’t do any good to keep holding on to pain and hurt when you deserve better. You deserve to be happy and contented and loved and this is the right time to make that decision as you look forward to better things in the New Year.
- People who have no plans or expectations from you.
When the Bible says raise a child in the way he should go and when he grows up, he will not depart from it, it shows love and care. It depicts the years of investment of good will you have deposited into your child and even though some children may step out of line once in a while, they will never forget what you have deposited in them. This illustration helps us understand that it is those you love and care for that you make plans with, they are the ones you teach, they are the ones you have expectations of. So that during the cause of your relationship, we can take intermittent time to review where your relationship is going in comparison to where you used to be. If there was no plan or expectations last year, you definitely need it as you begin a new year and if there’s no interest to be involved, then you might want to take a hint that you are alone in your relationship. It’s time to make your decision.
- People who pull you down so that they can look good.
It’s one thing to have low self-esteem and be willing to work on yourself. It’s another to have low self-esteem and all you want is to make the other people look or feel bad only so you can feel better about yourself. Whether you call it low self-esteem or feeling intimidated by your partner, it’s definitely no excuse to put effort into pulling the other person down with negative words and attitude all the time. Everybody, whether capable or not, wants to feel capable. It is part of the responsibilities of your partner to help you realize and achieve purpose, thereby capacitating you to do more than you ever thought you could do. But when your partner’s delight is your inability to raise beyond how they met you or even worse, then you better wake up. Gone are the days when anyone needs to deliberately lower themselves just to help the other feel good about themselves.
It’s a new year. You know the things your partner is doing that’s not edifying to you. You either need to have one last sit down and talk it through or it’s time to make that move on for you. It’s not easy most times but you need to find that courage before 2017 ends like 2016 and you’re wondering what you did or did not do.
Have a relationship hassle-free year!