He loved her anyway


I discovered this new blog yesterday and I’m enchanted already. More because it centers on female advocacy that I try to dabble into once in a while. One of the stories I read reminded me of a story a friend recounted to me years ago. Allow me to share with you.

Fadeke is now in her 40s. She’s been married for almost 10years but more than half of that time, her husband has been with this same girl and Fadeke is fully aware of it all – where she works, where she leaves, how her husband sees her every single day of the week and so on. Of course, she’s not fine with it but since her faith is different now, she believes there’s no battle you can’t win on your knees. So she does 21days fasting, dry fast, 40days, and mountain praying till she was diagnosed with peptic ulcer. Has it worked for her? I honestly don’t know. I personally don’t like to be overly interested in the aspect of people’s lives they wish away.

So how did it all start? I don’t know. I doubt that she knows but obviously there is a story of how she met her husband and another story with the other girl and her now estranged husband. Getting complicated? Let me try to brief you.

According to Fadeke, she was a “runz girl” when she was in Uni. When her husband met her, he was there for his Masters. He liked her and she told me who she was but he decided to love her anyway. So she gave it all up and they’ve been married ever since. I suppose shortly into the marriage, her husband realized he was itching and very uncomfortable in his loins so he visited a doctor who confirmed after tests and examinations that he had contracted gonorrhea. He couldn’t understand where and how he got it. To cut the long story short, she had infected her husband without her even knowing she had been carrying the sexually transmitted disease in her. Till now, her husband constantly takes some sort of medication to keep his susceptibility down to the reoccurrence of the disease especially now that he’s more active with the another woman.

In every challenge, when you go for counselling, one of the first question is, ‘When did you notice a change? How did it start? And then to keep her emotional stability, Fadeke refuses to believe that her past could have been a possible cause for her husband’s one-course extra-curricular activity.

What do you think?

4 thoughts on “He loved her anyway

  1. ‘Old things have gone away and all things become new.’ I hope I got that right. Her husband has no right to use the past against her. He’s probably just being a man, an opportunist just to cheat thinking he has good reason to. It’s either she keeps playing with her health, be patient until he gets back to his senses or perhaps she moves on elsewhere with her life and be happy. Marriage is supposed to be ’till death do us apart’, he obviously knew the risk he was taking when he got married to her, even knowing about her past.

    1. ” She moves on elsewhere with her life and be happy,” this is exactly what I thought. I couldnt have said it better myself! She shouldnt have to wait for her husband to get back to his senses.

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