When I sit and wonder why relationships are the way they are today, most unhappy than others, I’m curious to know where they must have missed it. Yet every relationship, except matched ones (yet I stand to be corrected), start with a strong likeness toward their spouse/partner. How then did this likeness change into something unrecognizable?
Maybe because relationships have phases. Perhaps, they metamorphosis into new levels with every communication or meeting which leaves us either in a better space with our partners/spouses or a not-so-pleasant space with one another.
I first heard of the word “rebound” after Uni and it baffled me to think that another person should be the scape goat for you to avoid the pain of a recent breakup. But I suppose a lot of people would be guilty of this and perhaps forged a relationship out of this cushioned affiliation into a deeper level. At this junction, I think it is wise to advice that you need to first realize who a person is in your life and of what essence they have come to be in your life before you go on forging relationships with people who aren’t meant to be.
Having said that, let’s explore my “7 stages of every relationship”.
- The pretentious stage – So you like someone who likes you too but you are a little bit hesitant to start the conversation. You seem to be very good friends when in group but pretend to not care about each other when it comes down to both of you. You somehow gather the strength to begin a random conversation on WhatsAppor Facebook and that’s how you start to get to know each other. During this stage, you bring out the good in you and leave out details which might make you seem like every other guy/girl in the world. After all, who wouldn’t want to stand out?
- Infatuation – Infatuation is wonderful, a fervent excitement, passion, butterflies fluttering in one’s stomach, but it is not love, not by definition. So, basically the two of you have decided to give this ‘fling’ a chance. This is the honeymoon period for any relationship. You would do anything to be with that special person and become inseparable. You start your day with a ‘Good morning baby’ message and end your day with a cheesy ‘Goodnight Sweetheart’ text. Texting while you eat and poop becomes a norm for which your family will despise you for eternity.
- Hard realization of the truth – This is where relationships really begin after diving foolhardy into it. This is the ‘mid-relationship crisis’ if you want to call it that, the beginning of all that you set out to avoid in a relationship. This stage is an important and, undoubtedly, unpleasant part in any relationship. By learning to resolve conflicts and working through problems, you grow and mature. You get to know that you have to break away from your ego or you either break up or make it work at this stage.
- The second honeymoon stage – You two have made it through the rough and hard realizations posed by your relationship. You are now entering a steady stage where real romance minus many arguments takes off. Now there is the quiet after the storm – a deepening sense of friendship, commitment, trust and stability grows letting you get back to getting on with your life. You know where you stand with each other, you each have your own space and have more confidence and trust in your relationship.
- The auto-cruise stage – So you’ve been together for a while now, you know one another pretty well. At this stage, you are in well comfortable with each other, trusting each through and through even when you are not together. You become the perfect lovers and know most of the things which others might not about your significant other.
- The commitment stage – This is almost like an extension of the auto-cruise stage but a slightly deeper level. In this stage, you are now well familiar and accustomed to each other, after all the ups and downs in your relationship, you are finally in a long-term committed stage. You are willing to sacrifice for your better half. This is the part of relationship that can be scary – and good all at the same time!
- Happily ever after stage – Congratulations!! You have found the love of your life if you are in this stage. You finally realize that you two are made for each other and can look forward to a ‘Happily Ever After’ ending, to a large extent 😉
Be careful and honest to identify which stage of your relationship you are at before jumping straight to “happily ever after” so that you don’t end up at “happily never after”.
It’ll be fun to hear read your comments on this below.