Importance of sex in a relationship

Hi people!
How are y’all doing? Enjoying your weekend? I am, having spent a well-deserved quality time with my family today and the weekend just got started.
Sometime during the week, I had been moody and overwhelmed. I looked forward to some alone time with my husband, at least for the obvious importance (to refresh ) but before I could fantasies, I tried to slap the thought out of me and focus on work instead. Well, that was before I read this post supposedly by Leslie posted by Eddaz.
I recall someone asking my opinion on a controversial write up she wants to put up titled ‘let’s negotiate sex’. Well, I told her the content is what will really determine whether it’s controversial or not but of course, first reactions and impressions would be drawn based on the word sex in the title.
So what is it that draws people or intrigues us about sex? Well, for one thing, it does have its many advantages. It aids a good night sleep, refreshes, rejuvenates, and brings couples closer, building intimacy and reassurance and confidence. Confidence in self-esteem and confidence in your relationship. They say kisses and cuddles a day lengthens a life-span, however true that is. I advised a friend who’s had flu for about a month to get things steamy with her husband after she lamented that all the drugs were not relieving her. I suppose she took my advice because when I saw her in the morning, she was not only glowing, the flu was gone and she just looked altogether new. That’s what sex does. Of course, it opens easier line of communication with your partner and whatever you were not able to freely discuss before, becomes easier afterwards.
We women like to be modest about our desires, that’s fine I suppose. But holding back too much is like wearing a bra while having sex. We know that won’t get you and your partner the well appreciated and hotter perspective. So embrace how you feel, how sex makes you feel and enjoy a healthier longer life and relationship.
Have a sexy weekend y’all. … More Importance of sex in a relationship

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Bearing it all

I can’t help but refer to this over and over. One of the things that got me hooked on my husband was his simplistic approach to life, to relationships. Life is what it is, can be complicated but it’s as simple as you want it to be. I fell in love with his notion because it’s who I am. I like to be straightforward, simple and let it all hang loose. You can pick the elements you want and let go of those you don’t need when I’m done letting it out. Either way, do one but don’t hold on to one and condemn me by the other. Let me explain.

Men and women, we both want to be totally at peace with ourselves, with our partners or whoever we choose to be with. Genuine relationships are based on how much of a truth you know about the person you’re with and how much of the real you the other person knows. But I’ve found, a lot of women confirm this too, that there is a limit to the information you can give a guy and he won’t find one of them to use against you. Opinions are often formed without insight. A lot of my male friends, even right from Uni, tell me I’m not a typical female. I like to be real, to be myself and, well I don’t expect everyone to like me for who I am but for those who have chosen to, I expect understanding, tolerance and support for what I am and appreciate my flaws too.

I was at a female social gathering some time ago and a lady recounted how in her first relationship, she was open about herself with her partner, shared her excitements, her fears, her ups and downs, even her potential wild side but eventually whenever sometime went wrong, certain things she confided in her partner which didn’t quite go down well with him would then resurface, using them against her honor. I’ve heard guys say they want “a lady on the street but a freak in bed”, something along those lines but how often do you encourage the same woman to be both without judging her at some point? The lady confessed that she took the learning from that relationship into her next and it so happened that because she wasn’t free to express herself, she couldn’t quite understand herself in that relationship. So at what point is confiding and letting it all hang loose in your relationship sharing too much information? Or at what point should you be weary that certain things you’ve said are being used against you?

I love love. It been my favorite thing since I understood its meaning. Sometimes I’m not proud of it because I find I let myself be ruled by my emotions whereas it ought to be the other way round. But I’m learning to be in control of my emotions instead. But when I love, I let it all hang loose, keeping nothing away. I don’t expect to be condemned or judged by it. I can’t speak for a lot of people but I appreciate the truth and I am mature enough to deal with it. I would rather know and be courageous enough to live committedly by my decision. … More Bearing it all

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Interesting Dating Options

Interesting indeed!

I was reading a novel recently. Set in the medieval ages, typical English traditions and all and it implies that when ladies become of age, some sort of ‘outing’ is arranged where eligible suitors come to sort of tender their applications and be interviewed for the maiden’s selection. They court a few times when she shortlists which of them she finds worthy until she chooses ‘the one’. Interesting, I repeat.

On my drive home from work yesterday while listening to the radio, the On-Air Personalities were debating the timeline for which one can engage in another relationship after a break up. Then one person mentioned that a friend of hers got married only after 2 months of breaking up with another guy. Then the conclusion was that she must have been dating 2 guys at the same time to have moved on so swiftly which they implied was wrong. Interesting debate.

But would it be a sin really for a lady to enjoy an ‘outing’ where she can choose? I mean, how do you know what you are getting into if you don’t have some sort of leveraging of standards and choices? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not soliciting that ladies begin to date as much men as they can before marriage leaving other men to inherit left-overs (excuse my French) but of course with decent courtship, zero intimacy and supervised meetings if you will. Meanwhile, the disadvantages of practicing the medieval ‘outing’ in this day and age outweighs the benefit of the intent. The times are different, the level of exposure is crazy and selfishness cuts across both gender. But for the benefit of women, for instance, especially the older ones who have the biological factor and other pressures working against them, wouldn’t it have been some sort of relief for them to be able to enjoy the optional benefit without having to start over? I don’t know. I’m just thinking out loud.

What do you guys think? … More Interesting Dating Options

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Exploring the internet

It all comes down to creative problem solving. Funny I should be thinking in this line but hey, I suppose I can’t take away the HR skill out of me.

Looking through my Stats on WordPress from time to time, analyzing too, what people search for the most on internet, I’m glad I’m able to help guide someone’s information out there sometimes. Looking through Google this morning with an intention to satisfy some sort of inquisition on the internet, I find this: Olajumoke Orisaguna: Model is Google’s most searched person in Nigeria in 2016.

So the story of Olajumoke is one which everyone did talk about and obviously are still talking about. Even I talked about it here some time ago. So what makes people still want to know about her or catch up with what she’s doing these days? The answer is simple. Everyone loves a grass-to-grace story. Prosperity!

We all want to relate to prosperity, we want it. Heck, we even made it a prayer point at my “gathering of the brethren” this past weekend. All round well-being, happiness, satisfaction, success and wealth, we want these things. However, an important factor is to be considered – what do you have in your hands? I’d like to describe prosperity as the multiplication in good fortune of what is.

When Jesus fed 5,000 men, excluding women and children, He did it with 2 fishes and 5 loaves of bread. When Simon caught fishes so much, they broke his fishnet, he had been at sea, not at the shore lamenting about the tides. When God multiplied the barrel of oil of the Widow of Zeraphath, she was willing to bring forth her very last. Something always has to give for a multiplication of good fortune to happen. Miracles happen when we have something to lift up to the heavens in anticipation for a better realization. Magic is merely a mumbo-jumbo of a concoction which often usually vanishes.

We love a good story, we want that grass-to-grace story to be ours, we want prosperity but what are we doing presently to cause that blessing to happen to/for us? A lot of songs preach that your hero lies in you. It sure does. Only you can help actualize your dreams, you just need some creativity about it.

Get to it already! 😉 … More Exploring the internet

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Tuesday Spur

Hi people!

Hope you’re all getting settled into the new week. Monday must have been great or fun for some of us. For those who struggled through it, cheer up. You’re still alive to struggle through it.

Motivating and encouraging each other has become an important part of human existence. Even the Bible says, “do not forsake the gathering of the brethren”. It does have its many advantages. We all need it, live for it, live by it and renew our inspiration and purpose by it. I always like to refer to my father because for as long as I can remember he has been the main feature in my life, my mentor and the first man in my life. From scolding me through elementary school when I wouldn’t get a simple math equation right to spoiling me silly with love to when he consistently, without warning, drops words of wisdom and encouragement which I’m still finding useful till date. A lot of my friends call me Daddy’s girl. I’m proud of it. I won’t have it any other way.

Love you too mom :*

Let me share a few of his words to encourage someone else this morning.
1.Progressive planning is the key to achieving your dreams.
2.Plan all you want, it doesn’t always mean things will work according to plan but at every point when it seems your plans aren’t working out, dig deep and reconnect with your inner purpose, your initial drive, and your dreams from childhood. Let it motivate you and keep you going, against the odds.
3.You are different from every other person, even from your siblings. It works for A might not work for you. Never run your life by anyone else’s standard. Run your race, live your life, stay focus and what is yours will come to you.
4.If you live or die, people already formed their opinion of you and will talk about you. So why not live to fulfil your happiness to the satisfaction of your conscience?

I say to myself that I am in no competition with anyone else but who I was yesterday. The race might be slow, but if stay the course, I know I will surely get there.

So be encouraged and reconnect with your initial zeal in your pursuit of prosperity.

Enjoy the rest of your week. 🙂
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“You never cease to amaze me”

Seriously, all this ‘relationship is hard work’ talk makes one want to run as far from it as possible but let’s all go back to the days when we were convinced that being in a relationship is all we want to live for. Remember then? It’s not too far in your memory now, is it? Love is beautiful, can be addictive and it’s amazing how it completes your world. Love is simple, straightforward and childlike, perhaps that’s how puppy-love takes the lead of all the types of love. J

My husband always says life and love is simple, as long as we don’t complicate it, we’ll always be happy and I totally agree with him. A lot of laughter, humor, selflessness, and care and every day becomes an amazing day to be alive, more because you have that one person you love the most in the whole world.

Here are certain characteristics in a love relationship that keeps you saying, ‘you never cease to amaze me’:

Of course, it’s needless to emphasize the power of affection and passion towards your partner. Show it, say it, and demonstrate it in creative ways that spice up your relationship. Do not underestimate the power of kisses and cuddles in your relationship no matter how old your relationship is becoming. Touching and cuddling never gets old anyway. Being affectionate towards each other will improve confidence both in yourselves and in your relationship.

Yes, they say communication is the key to a successful relationship but please, not everyone wants to engage in serious talks all the time, gosh, that would be stressful but communication can include laughter, humor, teasing, or any fun activity really which are as essential for strengthening the bond with your partner, and not necessarily the long speeches and ‘family meetings’.

I love a good listener, paying attention to me even when I forget some things I say some times. Listening to your partner and respecting his or her beliefs and ideas even if they are different to your own makes a gives a huge bonding effect peculiar to your relationship. Not a lot of people want to be burdened by other’s issues anyway.

Another wonderful charm about holding down a relationship is how you handle disagreements. No couple will agree with each other all the time and a little conflict is to be expected. If you do not agree with him or if he has made you angry, tell him your feelings in a way that is not degrading or humiliating to him, (ladies, take note). Be direct and use a problem solving approach, which many men prefer adopt.

Finally, give room so that both of you have your own set of friends and interests rather than doing things together all the time. It gives more to talk about and share at the end of the day anyway. Spending time in the company of your partner constantly can make your relationship stale and boring.

It’s nice when your partner never runs out of pleasantries to amaze you. Have a love-filled weekend ahead!
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Getting married: Why women get married

Hey people!

It’s been a long holiday in Nigeria, thanks to Ramadan – three days stretch. It would have been two but I suppose the moon didn’t show up early. Don’t ask me, I don’t know how these things are supposed to work. Lol. I’ve had a lot of reading and sleeping in. I wish I had a lot of eating too but my eating pattern is quite unconventional. I’m still working on it.

Anyho, so I was looking through my posts and I came across this one, I figured it would be nice to write something from the female perspective too. Something to balance out the argument, if you will.

So why do women get married?

In my opinion, this topic should be looked at from two dimensions, the young women folk and the older women folk to better appreciate some of the reasons below. However, most of the reasons apply to both folks.

Basically, here are the top reasons why women get married:
1.Because they love that fellow enough to spend the rest of their days with him.
2.Because marriage officially binds you to the one you love, living together forever.
3.Because they are convinced they will find fulfilment and meaning to their lives by becoming a wife and a mother.
4.The society holds the view that women should be protected by men, admitted or not. This is not about prejudice but it’s the truth in most cases.
5.Because of pressure from their parents, demanding grandchildren. Now this applies to the older women folk.
6.Biological clocks are also yelling at women, pressuring them into marriage.
7.For financial security
8.Legitimate sex

Keep in mind too that a lifetime relationship can be a wonderfully intimate and fulfilling experience if done right. It provides support, protection and acceptance, again, for both partners if done well.

For whatever reasons you decided to get married, wish y’all a happy married life.

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