Bearing it all

I can’t help but refer to this over and over. One of the things that got me hooked on my husband was his simplistic approach to life, to relationships. Life is what it is, can be complicated but it’s as simple as you want it to be. I fell in love with his notion because it’s who I am. I like to be straightforward, simple and let it all hang loose. You can pick the elements you want and let go of those you don’t need when I’m done letting it out. Either way, do one but don’t hold on to one and condemn me by the other. Let me explain.

Men and women, we both want to be totally at peace with ourselves, with our partners or whoever we choose to be with. Genuine relationships are based on how much of a truth you know about the person you’re with and how much of the real you the other person knows. But I’ve found, a lot of women confirm this too, that there is a limit to the information you can give a guy and he won’t find one of them to use against you. Opinions are often formed without insight. A lot of my male friends, even right from Uni, tell me I’m not a typical female. I like to be real, to be myself and, well I don’t expect everyone to like me for who I am but for those who have chosen to, I expect understanding, tolerance and support for what I am and appreciate my flaws too.

I was at a female social gathering some time ago and a lady recounted how in her first relationship, she was open about herself with her partner, shared her excitements, her fears, her ups and downs, even her potential wild side but eventually whenever sometime went wrong, certain things she confided in her partner which didn’t quite go down well with him would then resurface, using them against her honor. I’ve heard guys say they want “a lady on the street but a freak in bed”, something along those lines but how often do you encourage the same woman to be both without judging her at some point? The lady confessed that she took the learning from that relationship into her next and it so happened that because she wasn’t free to express herself, she couldn’t quite understand herself in that relationship. So at what point is confiding and letting it all hang loose in your relationship sharing too much information? Or at what point should you be weary that certain things you’ve said are being used against you?

I love love. It been my favorite thing since I understood its meaning. Sometimes I’m not proud of it because I find I let myself be ruled by my emotions whereas it ought to be the other way round. But I’m learning to be in control of my emotions instead. But when I love, I let it all hang loose, keeping nothing away. I don’t expect to be condemned or judged by it. I can’t speak for a lot of people but I appreciate the truth and I am mature enough to deal with it. I would rather know and be courageous enough to live committedly by my decision.

 

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