My jewel of inestimable value


Ok so marriages, break ups more than make-ups, have been trending this weekend. Then I remember that my 28 year old sister who is yet to be married said to me, ‘marriage is over rated’. Seriously! I wish a lot of people were or are confident to realize and accept the fact. Then I suppose it’ll correct a lot of false assumptions and hopes.

In my post why men get married, you will discover along with other reasons, of course, some of the wrong reasons why men tend to want to settle down most of the time. It takes only a few who know their onions to realize, actualize and get it right. Suffice to say that only 50% of men get it right at the first marriage anyway. And trust me, it either gets worse more often than not than it does by the second or third marriage because the level of commitment and loyalty, respect and value for the union is diminished anyway.

So what makes a man want to call his wife his jewel of inestimable value? As a woman, have you ever wondered why among all women, your husband chose you? Have you ever wondered what you have that someone else doesn’t have or even has better? What’s the special thing about you? Don’t get me wrong, even the Bible says we are all peculiar and wonderfully made so of course there must be or there should be one thing about you that distinguishes you from the rest. So I’m assuming, when a man refers to his wife as his jewel of inestimable value, he means she is best in class. Now best in class is relative and subject to the man’s opinion. May be best in career pathfinder, best as a home-maker, best partner, best opportunity, best façade, best trophy. Now a trophy is best on the wall – you clean it every day, make it shine and position it in the best part of the house/office where everyone can see it. It is beautiful. It is your prized possession. It proves your ability for some sort of responsibility recognition. So when someone like Jay Z says, ‘I have the best bitch in the game’, the bitch being his newly wedded wife, was that out of love or out of the pride of acquiring the best in the game? Maybe now all of that façade is over. When a character like Eugene in Purple Hibiscus is out of tune with his wife’s depression and suppression, flaunting his silenced dysfunctional family’s honor. It was only when she couldn’t cope with Eugene’s behavior anymore that she poisons him and her son, Jaja, takes the blame for the crime which leaves her shattered wreck after. Is that then the pride of a man? To have a quiet statue at home, time bomb ticking to explode? A woman who will support you and smile quietly? Saying nothing when you are wrong and even less when you are right? Or more recently Tunji Balogun who took advantage of being married to a hottie pop star and is ruining his life? At what price or of what detriment is that priced jewel of inestimable value then if you have no need for it?

Why am I of the opinion that men like to keep their wives at home, away from prying eyes while they do whatever they want then come home and expect not to be answerable to anyone? Fine, you’re the man. Kudos to you. Like the saying goes, one day monkey go go market, e no go return. Meaning, one day enough will be enough. Then that trophy wife, your ‘jewel of inestimable value’ will revolt and heaven knows hell hath no fury than a woman scorned. Marry a nonsense girl if you want and be nonsense together, it’s fine. But don’t marry a good girl and by the time the night is over, you’ve succeeded in turning a good girl bad. Baby, it don’t work that way.

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