Choosing a life partner


Opposites often attract. Did you ever think that it was a cruel joke that most of us find ourselves attracted to people very much unlike us? But consider the possibility that those differences that can seem so problematic may actually be the very things that add spice and passion to your relationship. We may be drawn to people out of needs and desires that are unfulfilled in our lives, such as a desire for security, love, support, and comfort. So if like things are supposed to repel, why is a woman attracted to another woman? Or why is a man attracted to another man? Or why is a conservative person attracted to an introvert? These things defile the law of nature – go forth and multiply. How do you multiply your talent and skills or expand and grow your potential when you are limited by your own mind and in the decisions you are making?

So here are a few things I think one should have at the forefront of mind when choosing a life partner. That type of partner who compliments you, who is strong in your weakness, who is knowledgeable in your grey areas, who buys into your dreams and has the know-how to actualize your dreams and maximizes your potential.

1.) Do a personality check of yourself

I told me sister and anyone waiting to be married – at least while waiting, you may as well do some personality checks on yourself and be positive that you are ready with the qualities and characters you want your spouse to possess. Avoid being a pretender, by understanding your own personality and be an honest and open individual to whomever you may encounter. There is a saying that goes, “Be a friend before becoming a friend”, which holds true even in a relationship. If you are not happy with yourself, then you will hurt the feelings of your prospective partner. And remember, what makes a relationship work is the energy and curiosity for life, the desire to live to full potential and yet enjoy the journey together,

2). Have a visionary Life-long marriage

Bear in mind that business is not just a different compartment of your married life. It is an extension of what your life and your children’s lives hold. However, the business world isn’t a world of escape, dreaming and hoping it leads to a lifestyle of luxury. Sometimes, the unexpected, uncalculated happens and the impact usually isn’t pretty if you are caught unawares or unprepared.

3.) Choose a partner who shares common interests/ based on complimentary career pattern

Choosing a life-partner that shares some if not whole of your interests, will work in your favor. When you decide to spend your life with someone, you must look at things that the two of you would complement in each other.

4.) Mutual Respect

Lack of respect shown towards one another creates a hostile environment that will eventually put an end to your marriage life. So, choose someone who will acknowledge you for the rest of your life.

5.) Appreciate your partner’s intellect

It is essential to let down your ego and be appreciative of your partner’s intellect, whatever or however little you think it is. Encouraging each other as you grow is important. You must contribute to the best of your ability in being able to work together and sort out things.

6.) Spend time with your potential life partner

Getting to know one another by spending a lot of time together, will help understand the status of the relationship better. From a long-term perspective, it is vital that they spend long periods of time in the other person’s company, under a variety of circumstances. If your potential life-partner and you are being accepted by your respective family and friends, then your marriage becomes everlasting. Better relationship with your life-partner’s family and friends are equally important as with him/her. However, your acceptance and appreciation of each other’s entirety is most important above all.

7.) Its OK to have standards

In the days of old, I want to imagine standards to marrying were probably not as strong as what it is now. And ladies now have been termed unrealistic because of their expectations or standards in a life partner. I’d say while choosing a life partner, you need to consider you and your family’s standards and reputation. However it might be ok to choose someone who does not belong to the same strata of society as yours, as long as he/she isn’t ignorant of the assuming status and they are fine with it.

To achieve a productive life, one needs to take cognizance of certain additions or let-ins into one’s life, specifically when choosing a life partner. One who although not necessarily completes you but calculatedly choosing that person who makes your journey and efforts a success.

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