Let’s talk about sex

Oooooh! Sex – so controversial yet so exciting to talk about. It’s not supposed to be mentioned amongst decent people, or that’s what the society thinks. These things (about sex) aren’t to be mentioned in public or maybe at all. Yeah, right. So if we don’t talk about it, how do you want to get educated, aware or even educate your child? It’s become very necessary now with the way the society is going. There have been too many vile perpetrations recorded in the past five years and mostly against children. So, there’s the need to talk about this – let’s talk about sex then, shall we?

We can talk about sex in the context of gender or in the more controversial context which is intercourse. Intercourse would be a better debatable topic to discuss. What does the Bible say about sex? There are a lot of verses on this but let’s simplify it by using 1 Corinthians 7:2 – But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. In one word, sex outside of husband and wife is immoral, a sin against your own body and against God. Unfortunately, the Bible has no further consenting record about man and man or woman and woman or adult and child or human and animals which is now the trend.

I know, I know. We all fall short of the sex before the marriage thing but that’s another topic I wish not to discuss because I do not have a justification for it. But in any case, as much as it can be a blessing, intercourse is also a curse as seen in Genesis 2:24 – Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. One flesh, one body, one soul. A few years ago, my father told me that for everyone a person shares their body with, they become one soul with that person. How many souls have you conjoined yourself to? One, two, 10, 20? How many of those souls are disturbed or distressed or unfortunate and wretched? How many of those have affected your God-given destiny, limiting you to the treasures of God for you on earth? Scary thought! But the good news about sex is that it is within marriage is pleasurable because God designed it that way. God wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity within the confines of marriage.

Like I said earlier, most of us fall short in indulging in sex before the marriage, perhaps for a different number of reasons but the most popular one is for benefits. You want this person to like you more, you want him/her to choose you above others, you want what he/she has, etc. Mind you, sex does not determine or guarantee a respected relationship with anyone. If anything, it takes away from your personality in such an instance.

Now be mindful that children need age-appropriate information about their bodies, puberty, sex and reproduction. This doesn’t have to be one big talk, but lots of little conversations repeated. It is important to understand the stages of sexual development your child is likely to go through at different ages and what you can do to help them adjust to the changes they will experience. Sex education for a primary school child should occur in the way we talk about body parts and body functions, how we teach children to care for, respect and protect their bodies, and while we prepare our children for puberty. Choosing the right age to answer questions such as ‘Where do I come from?’ and ‘What is sex?’ is more about how comfortable your family feels talking about such topics, rather than there being a perfect time. I advocate as soon as you feel compelled to have such conversations with them, minding their age and their understanding of your communication language. Other factors to keep in mind as well might be when your child begins to feel more modest, say by age six and might want privacy in the bathroom. This is a good chance to help them understand their feelings and make sure they are aware of the things to be cautious about or raise alarm about. There are no hard and fast rules to sex education in children, just tap into the timing that best works for you and your child and like I said, feed them age-appropriate information.

I’d like to hear your view about sex. Let’s keep talking.
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