What was I thinking when I married him?


How many people are able to live by their decisions and be proud of it, to stand by it no matter what?

In the beginning, for whatever reasons best known, people find themselves delving into uncertain territories, as long as there seem to be some sort of comfort. Well, have you ever thought comfort in that context to mean acceptance of defeat and laziness of your own failures? Consider this short story for instance:

Tejumade dated Abiodun for a very short period of time before he proposed to her. Although Tejumade’s friends knew she wasn’t the type to jump into marriage straight right out of college, she accepted to marry him on the excitement of wedding bells. No soon after she wore his ring did he start portraying traits that made Tejumade withdraw from him. The once intelligent and lively girl became a shadow of herself. Even though she couldn’t figure out how to manage the situation, she knew she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life being a walking corpse. No amount of money was valuable for her happiness and peace of mind. So, though it wasn’t easy, Tejumade pulled out from that relationship.

People usually assume that the next relationship you engage in shortly after a failed one is supposed to be ‘rebound’. But what was Tejumade to do when, not exactly because she found everything she wanted in a man in Tejugbade but, she found he was exactly the opposite of Abiodun. He was calm, homely, and down to earth, gentle and seemed stable. He didn’t try to override her in any way. On the contrary, he spoke few words and let Tejumade do whatever she wanted to. Although she knew she wasn’t ready for another relationship just yet, it seemed easy to slide into when Tejugbade made it seem unconsciously easy to be in a relationship without being bound.

So few months later, they got married. And then a couple of years later, Tejumade was no longer sure Tejugbade was what she wanted in a man. She needed a strong man, a man in control of the family and situations, a man willed to provide and meet the needs of their growing family. She suddenly realized she wanted a care which she misinterpreted as a lack in his few words. She wanted attention which she failed to realize wasn’t there from the beginning. But because it came easily comfortable to be in a relationship with Tejugbade as opposed to her last relationship, Tejumade was misled.

Fifteen years later, she wakes up in their bed, looking across to Tejugbade who is snoring and farting in his sleep and asks herself, ‘what was I thinking?’

10 thoughts on “What was I thinking when I married him?

  1. We can never truly know what we are getting into but every experience is a learning adventure for our person. We don’t know what we were thinking but we can still search for the gifts in the situation. They can be found =)

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