If wishes were horses, I’d be riding on the wings of Pegasus
Pegasus? Is that even real?
If it is, then I can count every strand of my hair.
Here’s a typical story of exploring a shortcut to ‘fulfilment’.
Seun married his wife a virgin. They courted for two years before they decided to get married. Before her, Seun had been very active sexually. He met Grace just as he decided to turn a new leaf and she encouraged him to stay celibate till their wedding night. As a result of this, they didn’t discuss sex or their fantasies or their expectations or their needs in that regard. Talking about it might jeopardize their will to stay true to their course so getting married on high expectation on the part of Seun was on the basis of having a virgin for a wife. He was sure he would treat her well enough to make her love him more.
Grace was a virgin not by religious belief but by personal conviction to stay away from the ‘perverted evil’. It came easy for her to agree to marry Seun seeing how dedicated he was to his course. He was not demanding and supported her in everything. They seemed to want the same things in life with equal amount of passion.
Their wedding night turned out to quite dramatic but it was nothing far from the usual first timer cajoling routine. Seun was pleased at the end of the night while Grace felt irritated at the whole thing. Subsequently, she gave excuses whenever Seun tried to get intimate with her. So much so that eventually, he had to talk her into the necessity of it if they were to have children. Eventually, she gave in and she took in. Needless to say that the whole nine months journey was not a time Seun could consider requesting sex of her. He held himself through it and even after she put to bed and two months later, she would still not let him come close. She was now more irritable than before. Seun tried to put up with this and the same routine happened for the second baby until he had had enough.
They both went for counselling and Grace had divulged that she didn’t like sex at all and she only agreed to it when Seun asked for children. Now that children were out of the question, she wanted nothing to do with it anymore. Seun was shocked at this revelation. He couldn’t imagine how he would live the rest of his life upon this revelation, yet he was determined to keep his home happy, fulfilling every need that arose. He was a responsible man after all.
One fateful day at the office, the long awaited assistant resumed at work. She was a stunner. While everyone at work eyed her from afar, Seun felt proud to be working with Gbemi. She was unassuming and intelligent too. Because he is a family man, he tried not to think of her in ‘that’ way and focus on the work they have to do together. Six months down the line, it became a battle for him to stay away. So when the opportunity presented itself, he didn’t falter to take it. There was a dinner event at the office and instead of attending with his wife. He planned to have Gbemi as his date. He was careful to get Gbemi to take lots of alcohol that evening so that by the end of the night, she was relaxed and vulnerable. One thing led to the other and things happened that night which he felt bad for afterwards. But Gbemi liked it so much that she began to see her attraction for Seun. Because she is a naturally attractive lady, Seun’s battle to stay clear became even worse. They met outside the office from time to time and even deliberately worked late just to have heated quickies in his office.
When Gbemi told him that she was pregnant, he was lost for words. He opted to threaten her with her job but she was quick to give it back to him, claiming that she recorded their conversation and sounds the night he forced himself on her. She threatened to call the authorities and log in a sexual assault after she called his wife to tell her everything that’s been going on between them. That wasn’t even as desterilizing as her promise to keep the baby. She turned from being the attractive unassuming lady to the devil in his life. Grace wouldn’t bear the shame when Gbemi told her so, one day before Seun was back from the office, she had taken the children and left. The very next day that Grace left, the Human Relations Committee called Seun in for a closed door meeting for which sexual assault among others were called out to his accusations.
At the end of it all, he lost his family and his job – all because he wanted to get the fulfilment outside that he wasn’t getting at home.
Moral of the story: You might not be where you want to be, but you are not where you used to be. You might not have it all but someone else is praying for what you think you have that isn’t worth gratitude. What you think is a quick fix might end up destroying all of your hard work.