What wouldn’t I give to really understand the mind of a man, to really appreciate their essence, be patient with their weaknesses, celebrate their successes, encourage their dreams and blow their minds with their fantasies? Most men feel the need to put on a guard, an amour to shield them from being seen through for one fear or the other. Like the book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, why must there be a rationale to letting us believe men are women are different. In the real sense, we are all from the same planet so why and what is initiating the difference really? We can easily say men have more responsibilities or should, hence the tension in expressing themselves to making women understand them better. I am of the opinion that communication is key in every situation. While we might all be corrupt from one divergence/disappointment or the other, there shouldn’t be any hindrance in expressing ourselves to making life, our situation and our relationship better.
However, it is said that if you want to have a better understanding of men, you should take the differences between men and women into account while remembering that every man is an individual with his own hopes and needs.
Differences between men and women:
- Realize that men tend to be more competitive by nature. A lot of men act this way because they thrive on competition, and take satisfaction in having skills or traits that dominate others.
- Be aware that men are more visually-driven. I’ve heard this but I don’t know why I choose not to believe it 100%. Maybe because visually-driven makes them impaired in brilliant judgement and rationale. I might be wrong.
- Learn that men and women don’t value the same parts of a conversation. If you expect your boyfriend or husband to be like your best female conversation partner, only better, you might be surprised – men tend not to build strong relationships through conversation, and they switch topics more frequently than women do. Thing is, if you really want to discuss an important topic with a man, frame it in a way that doesn’t leave him guessing, otherwise, you’ll lose his attention faster than he was able to give it to you.
- Understand that men can’t always identify emotions as quickly as women can. Think of the old stereotype of a husband who has no idea what he’s done to enrage his wife. It’s possible that he’s not just being deliberately clueless – he might genuinely have no idea why she’s upset, or whether she’s upset at all. Because women have more developed limbic systems, they’re better at classifying and reading emotions, a skill that was useful when women were primarily in charge of maintaining social connections in ancient cultures. Men, on the other hand, lag behind women in studies of how the sexes identify and control emotions. In one word, communication is key. Misinterpretation is fatal. However, it’s important you don’t think that men are completely insensitive.
- Know that it’s harder for men to be “just friends” with women. Men in seemingly platonic relationships with women are more likely to be attracted to their female friends, and also more likely to have the misguided belief that the women harbor sexual feelings for them. Though women have also shown signs of having sexual feelings for their male friends, they are more likely to back off when they know the men are in relationships. Men are less deterred when their female friends are in a relationship and still show signs of wanting to pursue them. However, it’s important you don’t think that all men want to sleep with all women or that they are much more likely to be unfaithful than women.
Despite all these differences, it might help to adopt a strategy to more understanding to help you also better leverage on your sanity, expectation and emotions. Keep in mind that you need to learn how to understand the male ego and respect it. Device means of bettering yourself and your relationship as opposed to finding faults and making excuses. Everyone needs space sometimes. Even a mother needs space and alone time away from her children. Don’t cloud your man, let him also feel the need and desire to come talk to you or be with you and not the other way round always. Love and respect is reciprocal.
I’m no expert. I have done some finding to put this out there. Hope some of it is true. If you have contrary opinion, please share to help us women be better at understanding the minds of men. At the end of the day, we do want to please you and be happy with you.